linskminyuk
I paused this movie after 25 minutes to see how much remained. This is my first review.I believe this flick has a good chance at becoming a cult classic (it is that bad). Let's start with the cast. There were so many non North American accents in this film (some actor's accents actually changed during the movie), I have no idea why the writer/director insisted the mission be an American one. The writing was poor, so I can't hold the actors entirely to blame. Here we go with the cast: Protagonist - Acting ability (1-10), was a 1. Seriously, I believe this was not just the first movie this guy was ever in, but the first time he ever acted - ever. I am quite sure the director attended the nearest Golds Gym, found a dude who physically fit the part, and hired him. This guy had muscle, but all he did most of the movie was point a handgun in every conceivable direction.Sniper dude- acting ability was a 3. While he had a unique look (squashed nose and a weird hairstyle that kind of puffed out only on one side of his head), he too was not good. A supposed master sniper who single-handedly killed 300 soldiers in Kosovo, (and could shoot a fly at 1 mile), handled his sniper rifle about as smoothly as I break dance. And the fact that a zombie was able to climb up the ladder, lumber up behind him and basically sit on him, before being detected?? Come on.Female Ninja - acting a 3 - this was ridiculous; a non-assuming girl with lots of pancake / eye makeup, maybe 5'6", added to the mission for her hand to hand combat abilities (to protect the group!). I mean really, ninja or not, hulk the protagonist could have levelled her with a fart. And man, not only did no one take the time to teach her how to hold her sword, her lethal swings were at a speed of a tai chi master. Although silent for the first part of the film, once she opened her mouth, any belief that she was this mysterious, dangerous ninja warrior, was gone.The bomber: acting actually not bad, about a 5. He had a few okay lines and although a stereotype, not the worst I've seen. My only real beef was how this guy's hair continued to be immaculate throughout the movie. 2/3 of the way in, after zombie attacks, detonating bombs, blowing off his best friends head (with his own face was 2 inches away - clever), his hair looked like he just got out of the salon.The American General with the British Accent (although I detected a German twang), was drab. Very evident all the military extras were just dudes from the catering truck or perhaps relatives of the crew, as their performances were terrible.Our troop finds that they have been duped and are to die with the zombies. Soon after, our hero remarks that they have about 50 minutes to get clear of the area – get this - by 300 miles, or kaboom. Really? 300 miles in 50 minutes? That's not even the funny part. While time is ticking down they decide to look for ammo and come across the other girl. Hero frees her and the group go to the roof. Then, and God only knows why, a relationship starts between hero and his new girl (screenplay checklist - love interest for the protagonist? Check!). While the rest of our group is wasting ammo shooting zombies on the ground who are no threat, hero and the girl build a relationship. Tick, tick, tick.Fast forward to the American pony-tailed dude and his girlfriend in the VW bug (who are vacationing in Romania, yes one of the top tourist destinations of 2013). Why did this dude feel the need to tell everyone his girlfriend didn't talk because years ago her brother killed every member of the family with a hammer? Did I miss something? Okay, triple fast forward to the end. Bad General (who I assumed all along was the antagonist- wrong, surprise coming), is holding Hero's 7 year old daughter and wants to trade for hero's new girlfriend.. This big movie moment, our hero finally holding his only daughter for the first time, was about as moving as a eulogy for a Taliban suicide bomber.I must admit I was surprised by the sudden emergence of the Toxic Avenger, who originally looked like he stood at least 8 feet tall when he killed the first two dudes, but was actually barely taller than our hero in the next shot.The very ending of this movie, with the gratuitous nudity left me scratching my head.A few points I forgot - the little 'moment' between the bomber and sniper just before the bomber mercy-kills his buddy "so many wars, so many woman" The cameo of the US President with a thick German accent. This was perhaps the most unrealistic scene in the movie. Was the director trying to imply that the U.S. should waive the requirement of the President to have been born in American (so Arnold can run?).And when they climb into an abandoned car (VW bug) and then begin discussing their predicament. Our Hero hadn't even tried to start the car yet - even just to see if it would start, or if it there was gas - they just sat there pontificating. Next scene they are tearing up the asphalt at 15 miles per hour.On a positive note, the zombies and make-up were not bad, although it was frequently obvious some zombies just started running on the word "Action". I will say, the old scientist, despite the US government pumping millions of dollars into his research, worked in a lab that was the size of my garage, and had less technology in it.
ScottM2753
This movie really takes the cake so far of the 2013 trash movies. Poorly written and unbelievably poorly acted.Continuity:The productions company obviously doesn't even know what this term means, as there is not even the slightest attempt to maintain continuity.Poorly acted and "voiced". This movie might have been slightly more believable had it been perhaps insinuated that this was some "European" Black-Ops operation that caused the accident, instead of saying it was an American operation deep in Eastern Europe, but then most of the people that are supposed to be portraying American Generals and troops don't even come CLOSE to having a believable American accent.Unbelievable military tactics and situations *spoiler alert*:In one situation, one of the mercenaries is being pursued by 10 or more "infected zombies" and he has a 12 gauge shotgun, which he has not even fired yet. Anyone who knows weapons will know that a 12 gauge shotgun is a GREAT riot/multiple target weapon and is GREAT for clearing large spaces. What does this mercenary do instead of using the shotgun? He puts it down and picks up a barrel and rolls it almost comically at the zombies to trip them up. He then proceeds to pick up another barrel to assault another zombie with it. Wow. This mercenary was also touted to be so "skilled" at combat by the American General without the American accent… Did I also mention that this American General is also sporting a goatee? Facial hair is NOT permitted in the US Military, the regulations stating that this is necessary to ensure a good seal on a face-mask, and it gives an appearance of esprit de corps in maintaining uniform personal appearance.Stupid Decisions:*Spoiler Alert* During one circumstance in which they are trying to flee the city, and get to the "minimum safe distance" from the nuclear weapon that is counting down, they have to stop for gas in their getaway car (a VW beetle) that they had only been driving at approximately 20mph looking like they are out for a Sunday drive (sorry, but if a nuclear weapon is going to go off, I will be driving like a madman!). So anyway, they attempt to refuel when of course more zombies show up. Along comes some country bumpkin that has the best American accent in the whole movie, along with being arguably the best actor in the whole movie... but his vehicle is a VW bus that is also low on fuel. So my main problem is that in a city where everyone has been turned into zombies, who of course have no use for their former vehicles, why do BOTH parties make the absolutely stupid decision of commandeering vehicles that are so low on fuel… when there is a WHOLE CITY OF VEHICLES WAITING TO BE USED!Acting:Very poor, wooden, without emotion in the face of a situation that would give ANYONE the heebie-jeebies.Suffice it to say that I was only able to make it about three-quarters of the way through this movie as it was just so painful to watch.
ypolem
I don't even understand how they find a producer for that (master) piece of crap.No clue about the public they were aiming, even with second degree it is hard to support.Cosmetic and make up are pretty well made.Pity it is so badly utilized.win time, don't even open the movie, it doesn't worth it.I am not even sure the actors had fun during the shooting, of course you are realizing you're not doing a nice movie. I pity them.I hadn't such a bad movie for a long time.In a way, that's amazing to see so many clichés in one movie.
rushknight
General production quality?Originality: 2 out of 10, mostly for the awesome American accents.Acting: 3 out of 10, what's with the awesome American accents?Setting: 0 out of 10. Wait, we're not even in America? But the accents!?Filming: 5 out of 10. Overall production value was relatively high. They actually wasted money on this!Special effects: 4 out of 10. Mostly CGI. The crap directors think they can get away with..Makeup: 7 out of 10. Best part of the film by far.Action: 3 out of 10. Pretty slow action. Entertainment value: 4 out of 10. Overall not the most terrible thing I ever watched.--------------------------Characters?4 out of 10 for the two old mercenaries. Good or bad, they got into their parts.2 out of 10 for the main hero. Dull as sandstone.1 out of 10 for the bad guy. Just.. completely out of place. 0 out of 10 for the sword-bearing-anime-spin-off-wet-dream. This just screams fetish. It was almost insulting (Commander, sniper, bombs expert and.. ninja?).1 out of 10 for the professor's "doe-tah" (in non-American accents, it's pronounced as "daughter").5 out of 10 for the hick. Ya gotta have at least one hick! (best American accent) 1 out of 10 for the hick's mute girlfriend. Lame.. and mute. (no accent)8 out of 10 for the dog. Best actor by far.-------------------- Overall score.. 3.2
