Zeta One
Zeta One
R | 22 June 1975 (USA)
Zeta One Trailers

Women around the globe begin disappearing when a renegade race of top-heavy aliens from the planet Angvia begin snatching them off the streets.

Reviews
WasAnnon Slow pace in the most part of the movie.
RyothChatty ridiculous rating
Keira Brennan The movie is made so realistic it has a lot of that WoW feeling at the right moments and never tooo over the top. the suspense is done so well and the emotion is felt. Very well put together with the music and all.
Yash Wade Close shines in drama with strong language, adult themes.
wilvram Surely one of the most tatty, inept, and certainly most bonkers productions from a British studio since 'Fire Maidens From Outer Space' over a dozen years previously, it seems Zeta One was originally planned on a considerably more ambitious scale, only to soon run into financial trouble.John Hamilton, Tony Tenser's indispensable chronicler, reveals that construction work on the studio had still not been completed during shooting. James Robertson Justice didn't have a proper dressing room and understandably was not pleased. Not in the best of health following a stroke the year before, he made sure he was out of the mess at the first opportunity. Anyhow he's completely wrong, and not in any good way, as the sadistic Major Bourdon. They'd have done better to have cast the amazonian Nita Lorraine, the 'Angvian' failing to keep a straight face in the fight scene (and briefly memorable wielding a whip in 'Curse Of The Crimson Altar') as Zeta's adversary, or to take it to a further stage of silliness, Rita Webb, who puts in an appearance as a bus conductor with Charles Hawtrey in a scene that misses a chance to be funnier.Robin Hawdon's James Word, so called apparently so they could use a hilarious tag-line on the lines of 'His Word is our Bond' and whose main activity seems to be confined to between the sheets, only function is to attempt to make sense of what passes for the narrative. Mission impossible. One flashback confusingly ends with him in bed with one of the Angvians before switching to him in the same bed with Yutte Stensgaard, as part of the framing device. A typically inane scene toward the end sees him drive up to a field, go through a hedge and then wander around, then back to the car for some waterproofs. And that's it. Meanwhile Dawn Addams' Zeta remains a peripheral figure throughout.At least Zeta can boast Johnny Hawksworth's jazzy, driving opening score, and the costume department made delightful use of their minuscule budget on the wigs and outfits, if that is the word, of Zeta's followers: Valerie Leon, for one, can rarely have looked more alluring. Anyhow, once the deadly tedious opening sequence was out of the way, it was more fun than the laboured attempts at humour of Joe Losey's infinitely more prestigious 'swinging sixties' spoof, Modesty Blaise, which I also watched recently.
JohnHowardReid This is one of those "so bad, it's good" movies that you encounter from time to time. Admittedly, it doesn't start 0ff very promisingly, but it gradually gets down - or rather gets off - to business, although the "business" is periodically interrupted by Charles Hawtrey (presumably he was not required on the "Carry On" set that day) and James Robertson Justice (obviously not one to rest on his laurels but willing to pick up any assignment, no matter how trite!) Despite the delightful abundance of feminine flesh, the screenplay doesn't make much sense - indeed some of the scenes - as well as some of the actors - seem to be playing against each other. I watched the movie twice - in case I'd fallen asleep and missed something (I do like to be thorough) - but it still didn't make much in the way of sense. At least I'm not alone. Obviously both the movie's barber and its dress designer did not have a clue either as to which scenes were which and who was wearing what! Available on a very good Salvation DVD. (You heard me!)
Leofwine_draca The British production company Tigon, which enjoyed success from the mid '60s to the mid '70s, has a lot to answer for. As well as acclaimed classics like Reeves' WITCHFINDER GENERAL and Polanski's REPULSION, they released a glut of B-movies in the horror and exploitation genres most of which are must-sees for the British cult fan. ZETA ONE is one of their sexploitation efforts and generally an appalling movie, only to be watched for nostalgic purposes. The story is plot less drivel, lurching from one scene to the next with no continuity, and the lame sci-fi additions to the story simply consist of supposedly alien women (the only alien thing about them is their dress sense!), who stand in a darkened room with silly-looking sets and lighting and spout nonsensical drivel about alien invasions which never happen. It's hideously dated of course, whether in the garish attire or in sequences in which people float around in dark rooms with lava-lamp footage superimposed over the top.The paucity of the budget is very much in evidence in the first twenty minutes of the movie, which consists of two characters sitting in a flat, flirting a lot and finally engaging in a silly, never-ending game of strip poker which will test the patience of even the most hardened bad-movie lover. After this timewasting footage finally grinds to a halt, we get lots of interconnected characters like a secret society of sadists; aliens kidnapping earth women and the "hero" of the piece, a wannabe James Bond spy who spends all of his screen time bedding naked women (I don't know why they bother - he's pretty repulsive). The fact that his moustache appears and disappears throughout the film suggests some kind of post-production problems and tampering with footage.After endless scenes of naked and half-naked women wandering around aimlessly, the finale arrives, an action sequence set in the woods in which loads of alien women (dressed in VERY skimpy clothing) arrive and zap the male bad guys. Well, I say zap, but really all they do is stretch out their arms and the men fall down dead, with an appropriate sound effect superimposed over the action. It's so cheap that this scene is laughably incredible. All of the female cast (aside from Dawn Addams, wasted as the alien queen) lose their clothing for various silly reasons, and the camera is always on hand to capture them crawling through air vents or being stripped in a makeshift torture chamber! Robin Hawdon is the spy, and I think it's pretty fair to say that he's a very bad actor indeed - perhaps one of the worst I've seen! Amateurish at all times and totally incompetent...it comes as no surprise that he was never heard of again. Two 'big names' have been drafted in to give the film some kind of status. The first is James Robertson Justice who sleepwalks through his performance and picks up the cheque at the end, and the second is the inimitable Charles Hawtrey who has some of the funniest sequences in the film and is a delight as ever - in fact he's one of the main reasons to watch and he makes an effort too. Don't you just love the man? Most of the female cast are unknown and can't act (for obvious reasons), but B-stars Valerie Leon and Yutte Stensgaard are a welcome sight amongst the rest of the heaving naked female flesh. Sometimes fun, mainly dull, this inexplicable offering is for those fans who are VERY forgiving for their movie's lackings - I don't think anyone would claim that this is a good film at all.
MARIO GAUCI I believe I first became aware of this sci-fi/sexploitationer via the biography for actress Valerie Leon included among the extras on the Anchor Bay DVD of Hammer's superior BLOOD FROM THE MUMMY'S TOMB (1971); incidentally, the film under review was made by rival company Tigon.To begin with, the script was apparently inspired by a comic strip (such cinematic adaptations were all the rage at the time – no doubt, the makers were encouraged by the success of BARBARELLA [1968]). Still, even reading through the cast list, I knew not to raise my 'artistic' hopes too highly – given that it featured both James Robertson-Justice and Charles Hawtrey, stalwarts of (respectively) the popular "Doctor" and "Carry On" comedy franchises…who actually turn out to be the villains of the piece!! The narrative drew heavily on another then-current fad i.e. espionage – in fact, the hero is a stud-like albeit laid-back secret agent who naturally proves irresistible to the alien women (actually, an alternate moniker for the film) the titular figure (played by veteran Dawn Addams) sends his way in order to derail his investigation into the abduction of several earth girls.That said, the plot is barely there and becomes especially confusing – not to say silly – during the latter stages; for what it's worth, the film culminates in a chase wherein the otherworldly gals kill virtually all of their male pursuers simply by pointing their fingers at them (accompanied by the incongruous noise of gunshots)!! Needless to say, ZETA ONE's raison d'etre and prime asset is its relentless parade of innumerable but anonymous starlets of the era in the nude or otherwise scantily-clad: the above-mentioned Valerie Leon herself is underused, but fellow future Hammer lead Yutte Stensgaard – who engages the hero (to whom he's recounting his non-exploits) in a lengthy and decidedly irrelevant game of strip-poker – comes off quite well (no pun intended). Also worth mentioning are the low-budget but appropriately psychedelic sets and the title tune (featuring a reasonably effective guitar riff).