Ultrachrist!
Ultrachrist!
| 01 January 2003 (USA)
Ultrachrist! Trailers

What would Jesus do if he returned to Earth and discovered he could no longer relate to the youth of today?

Reviews
Diagonaldi Very well executed
ThiefHott Too much of everything
Roy Hart If you're interested in the topic at hand, you should just watch it and judge yourself because the reviews have gone very biased by people that didn't even watch it and just hate (or love) the creator. I liked it, it was well written, narrated, and directed and it was about a topic that interests me.
Mehdi Hoffman There's a more than satisfactory amount of boom-boom in the movie's trim running time.
fwomp Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's ...ULTRACHRIST! Flipping religion on its head, Ultrachrist seeks to enlighten the follies of following scripture to the letter by returning Christ to Earth 2,000 years after his death. Oh! And he's come back to usher in peace for all mankind. The trouble is that he's completely out of touch with modern society. As soon as Christ returns to Earth (ala The Terminator style), he realizes many things have changed: clothes, personal philosophy, neon signs, and, oy!, religion.Christ (Jonathan C. Green) gets a crash course in what the world wants by first bellying up to a bar with a drunken man and discovering what's become of humanity. Discouraged but not deterred, he soon runs into Molly (Celia A. Montgomery), a young seamstress who falls for Jesus and decides to help him regain his ministry on Earth. She makes him a superhero spandex costume and poof!, the Ultrachrist is born. Running around New York in his new outfit, Christ diverts sin wherever it appears, but no one is heeding his words...Perhaps sin needs redefining.God (Don Creech, GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK) doesn't like what his son is doing on Earth so sends down Ira, the Patron Saint of Erotic Massage, to get rid of Jesus' ridiculous costume and to set his son back on the path of righteousness. But Ira's attempts are hindered by his own Earthly desires and by The Devil (aka, The Parks Commissioner).Satin (Samuel Bruce Campbell, THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH), not happy that Jesus has finally returned, resurrects some of the meanest and most evil people the world has ever known (from Hitler to ...uh ...Jim Morrison?) But Beelzebub is the least of the Ultrachrist's problems. He must overcome the "sin of sex," something he's been unable to do since witnessing his mother "get-down" with another man (if Jesus gets "excited", his hands bleed).With Ira's, Molly's, and his father's help, Jesus changes the sin rule book and thus helps banish all of the foes thrown at him by Lucifer.This low-budget flick isn't for everyone. Those who find religious satire revolting or insulting most certainly should NOT watch it. If you don't like B-movie production standards, avoid it. But if you like to chuckle at the ridiculousness of religious fanaticism, this is something you most surely should check out.The production standards are okay but nothing to praise. The acting is equally tepid. The script, however, is quite good. Ira belongs on the set of Seinfeld, and Jesus would be right at home in a rough Brooklyn neighborhood (i.e., his accent). But these things also added to the humor of the movie. It's not supposed to be taken seriously and doesn't attempt it ...which I found absolutely great! If you seen and enjoyed FILM GEEK, SPACEMAN, or other minimal budget films, this one is right up your alley.
FilmFlaneur Just a couple of years after Jesus Christ VAMPIRE HUNTER comes ULTRACHRIST, which features another superhero Lord (I know what you're thinking, that one waits for a millennium without seeing even one, and now...) this time He's complete with Spandex outfit, hilariously reminiscent of Monty Python's famous Bicycle Repair Man. Christ returns to earth, Terminator-like, to start His second ministry and promptly moves in with two lipstick lesbians as a base for His low key, but gormlessly naive operations. Meanwhile His old adversary, now running the city's Park Department and local drugs cartel, sends out adversaries - choosing the most evil figures in history (being Adolf Hitler, Vlad the Impaler, Richard Nixon and, er, Jim Morrison, naturally enough) against Him. Elsewhere, in a pizza parlour in Heaven, God Himself is mightily annoyed at developments and sends an emissary (the Archangel Ira, the self proclaimed Patron Saint of Erotic Massage) to strip Jesus of His Spandex and thereby reduce the Almighty's embarrassment.. More deftly put together than JCVH, but without the endearingly loopy songs or pastiche kung fu, ULTRACHRIST is just as low budget while still being amusing, and just as essential viewing by way of a further addition to this growing, peculiar mini genre of Christ as crime fighter. As Jesus, Jonathan C Green is perhaps more believable than the previous filmic resurrection ("The crucifix is the symbol of Christianity? I HATED the crucifix! OUCH!" he opines), and has more charm of presence, but believability is hardly a key issue here. My favourite bad taste moment is when Jesus' stigmata, after he's excited, ejaculates blood all over his wannabe girlfriend's blouse...
Cory Heitman Normally I don't like to bash indie cinema (It's more fun to trash movies that are poorly crafted but cost $$$ to make) but I have to make an exception. I was fooled by the high IMDb rating and reviews on this turkey, which must havebeen posted by friends of the creator. Let me say upfront that I'm far fromreligious, and appreciate good satire in the vein of Election. This was too dumb to be called satire. A Jesus with a whiny Brookyln accent shows up nude in NYC (a'la "The Terminator") and crafts a spandex powder blue "superhero costume" to relate to today's youth. Lots of scatology and sex jokes as Jesus turns thecommandments to pro casual sex to win converts. The video and especiallyaudio are sub-porno quality. "Jesus" fights Richard Nixon (guy in rubber Nixon mask) Jim Morrison and Dracula. An interesting concept badly executed. Lookelsewhere for religious humor not so puerile, I suggest "The Life of Brian".
Gogog Lots of fun--smart, witty, charming, and enjoyable. Even the premise--Jesus returns to earth as a superhero--suggests good times. A must see, especially with a group of friends. It leaves you all feeling happy and ready to turn the other cheek....