Protraph Lack of good storyline.

Breakinger A Brilliant Conflict

Grimossfer Clever and entertaining enough to recommend even to members of the 1%

Kayden This is a dark and sometimes deeply uncomfortable drama

Hitchcoc This has become a bit of a cult film; hence you are charmed by it or find it utterly worthless. I made it through the thing, but fore me, I couldn't abide the troll. This does have its roots in many possession movies, like Poltergeist, where people try to live their daily lives in a horror house. It does have a decent plot and fairly decent special effects. Michael Moriarity is one of my favorite actors, going back to his solid role as a German SS man in the "Holocaust" made for TV movie. And, of course, Bang the Drum Slowly. He must have been desperate for cash when he signed on for this.

Leofwine_draca A bizarre children's fantasy, produced by Charles Band, filmed in Italy and directed by special effects man John Carl Buechler. Now if that isn't a strange mixture then I don't know what is! TROLL follows in the footsteps of earlier '80s fantasy yarns like LABYRINTH or GREMLINS in mixing reality with a fantastic world hidden just beyond the boundaries of our own. Here, its accessed by a magic ring which emits a green light and can transform people and objects into other-worldly creatures.There isn't really much plot to speak of. It begins with Jenny Beck, our little blonde Heather O'Rourke wannabe, descending into the basement of her new apartment block and getting possessed by the spirit of Torok, an evil troll. The troll then goes around and transforms all of the weird neighbours into either plants or similarly slimy creatures. Only a young boy, Harry Potter (!) knows the secret of the troll and learns from a friendly old witch living upstairs about how to defeat him. Things predictably culminate in a battle between good and evil on which the fate of the world hangs. That's it.Well, this is a very weird film which has a higher budget than you might expect. Thus we get lots of cheesy '80s computer effects of magic beams and funny lights which invariably look dated in light of today's modern technology. The various creatures are cheap yet effectively slimy looking, and the troll itself is a commendably ugly little monster which looks impressive when you first see it (despite the fact it's just a dwarf in a suit). I did like the use of stop motion to animate some plant shoots, which pops up in the amazing scene in which Sonny Bono (!) is transformed into a plant. There's also a brief shot at the end of the movie of shoots waving out of the top of the apartment block which I liked.The cast is better than you might expect, and it's a surprise how many familiar faces pop up in it (unlike the sequel TROLL 2 which was populated by unknowns). Noah Hathaway is the non-irritating child lead, and isn't bad at all. His father is played by the ever-quirky Michael Moriarty who ends up embarrassing himself by doing a silly dance. Shelley Hack is the boring bad acting mother. June Lockhart (a veteran actress from Lassie) plays the wise old witch and her real life daughter, Anne, her younger self. The aforementioned Sonny Bono is a swinger (!) who doesn't last for very long. I like the way that Phil Fondacaro has the dual role of a neighbour and the troll itself, just to cut down on casting costs no doubt.The film is very strange and unpredictable. It's too silly to be successful but it's unlike anything else you will see. Lots of people are transformed into slimy creatures which are like those in GREMLINS. A young lady is transformed into a nymph and runs around naked only for ivy leaves. At the end of the film a giant unexplained monster pops up and wreaks havoc. This film made my head spin. Six years later an unrelated sequel appeared (directed by the Italians of all people!). It goes without saying that I'll be reviewing it shortly.

Adam Peters (18%) Best known now as the trash J.K Rowling watched while/before writing the Harry Potter books. And lets be perfectly clear, this is trash, but it's still somewhat entertaining trash nevertheless. The characters are some of the most annoying examples of badly drawn "people" in any film ever, and it's little wonder why the troll, who has the ability to shape-shift, can go around undetected when everyone is so over-the-top and grating. Although why the troll thought it best to be so overly aggressive while disguised as the little Potter girl is questionable. A key draw to this is the practical effects of the many creatures featured that do manage to raise a chuckle, and the song they "sing" is oddly fun. But besides the rubber monsters everything else is too sub par to bother with.

TheLittleSongbird Troll is not as bad as its sequel, which is horrendous(yet you sort of get some entertainment at how bad it is), but I would be lying if I said it wasn't a terrible movie.The production values are quite shoddy, the cinematography is slip-shod while the costumes are hokey. The sound effects range from okay-ish to truly bizarre, and the story is weak and quite predictable. That's not all, the direction is sloppy, the script is dreadfully corny but somewhat hilarious in the way that it doesn't know which direction to take, and the acting from all involved is terrible. Oh, and the troll is more silly than scary.Yet I actually got some entertainment out of it, also it is quite short, has a cool score and goes quickly, so overall it is not a complete waste of time. 3/10 Bethany Cox