TrueJoshNight
Truly Dreadful Film
FuzzyTagz
If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.
Connianatu
How wonderful it is to see this fine actress carry a film and carry it so beautifully.
Bessie Smyth
Great story, amazing characters, superb action, enthralling cinematography. Yes, this is something I am glad I spent money on.
Woodyanders
Government agent Drew Savano (legendary tough guy William Smith in peak rugged form) gets assigned to take out seven criminal kingpins who plan on taking over Hawaii's crime racket. Savano rounds up a team of top operatives to kills all these baddies before it's too late. Director Andy Sidaris keeps the enjoyable story moving along at a quick pace, makes nice use of various breathtaking sunny Hawaiian locations, maintains a fairly gritty and serious tone throughout, adds a few inspired wacky touches (for example, there's a crossbow-wielding goon on a skateboard), stages a bunch of exciting and explosive last reel action with skill and flair, and presents a bevy of beautiful babes in bikinis or less (of course). The fine cast of familiar faces helps a lot: Barbara Leigh as the sultry Alexa, Guich Koock as jolly redneck Cowboy, Christopher Joy as the easygoing T.K., Art Metrano as wisecracking smartaleck Kincella, ace martial artist Ed Parker as himself, Martin Kove as lethal henchman Skip, Lenny Montana as fearsome head honcho the Kahuna, Reggie Nalder as mean loan shark the Hermit, and Terry Kiser as a wishy-washy senator. Foxy blonde Playboy Playmate Susan Kiger provides a tasty eyeful in a variety of skimpy outfits (and bares her lovely breasts a few times as well!). Quito's bright cinematography gives this picture a pleasing slick and sparkling look. The funky-throbbing score hits the get-down groovy spot. A fun B-grade flick.
gridoon2018
"Seven" is less polished than Andy Sidaris' later girls-with-guns movies from 1985 to 1998, but it has some of his trademarks: exotic locales, topless women, helicopters, and things/people blowing up. It's disjointedly scripted and crudely directed (with more than one guest appearance by the boom mike), but if you survive the unexciting first hour, the remaining 30 minutes do have some action - and some Peckinpah-style bloodletting. ** out of 4.
PeterMitchell-506-564364
Has this movie got everything. God awful sexy women in bikinis, explosions, violence, stunts, and humor. It also has some of the baddest dudes you'll ever see. They're an elite cartel, and they're not idiots. The people, remorseless, if anyone is, know their work. But so do the seven agents out to stop them where in no less thirty minutes, their objectives must die. Clearly the best actor here is golden oldie, William Smith, as most of the others suck. Smith plays Drew Savanno. Just see how this guy lives, and you'll understand, why so many other people feel so angered, the way they have it. Drew, the head of this group, is the one that picks the others, and they're really an odd kettle of fish, hot, funny, smart, and deadly. We have the blackbelt, the cowboy and his lovely assistant, who looks so hot in a bikini, the drag racer, the other hottie, who's a real tease, again deadly. We have the musician, who's style of comedy sucks. And my favorite, the professor, a playboy type and a genius. Who else could design a rocket when fired miles away, could take out the baddie in a the car park of one of his favorite coffee houses. The prof scores with a hot waitress who works there, who has a tube of candy paste on hand, if ever caught in lovemaking. Seven never dulls. It's a smart thriller, as in the way the baddies are taken out, the limo explosion at the gas station, out yonder where the whole place goes up in flames, just proving horse shoes have other uses. I like the baddie on the skateboard, known as skater, who's like comic amusement for this cartel, deadly with a spear gun. You can't fault the plot, as in the ways things happen. It's tighter than a fishes bum. The blow up doll that emerges out of a doctors bag when opened at customs, the professor telling the customs guy to put her on the next plane, is one of my favorite parts. A young customs woman looks outways after him, as says, "Too much", as if stoned. But these words could almost describe this movie, it's encouraging cover with Smith holding a spear gun, and those hotties flanking him, is enough to suck you in. Seven is a cool action movie, but on a smart scale, and one movie that shouldn't be overlooked.
BrianG
This was Andy Sidaris' second film, and it follows the formula for all the ones that followed: spectacular scenery, even more spectacular women in various and frequent stages of nudity, good action scenes, goofy humor. The plot is about seven mobsters who get together and decide to take over Hawaii, and the government agent assigned to stop them. It's good to see big William Smith playing a good guy, and he seems to be enjoying himself (there's one scene, apparently unscripted but which Sidaris left in, where Smith is sitting, clothed, in a shower room and a gorgeous naked woman appears out of nowhere, sits down next to him and stares at him; Smith obviously wasn't expecting it and bursts out laughing, then looks offstage and shakes his head, as if to say, "Okay, you got me"). The cast is stocked with veteran character actors--Nick Georgiade, Art Metrano, Reggie Nalder--and everyone seems to be having a good time. So will you. It's a fun movie to watch. Pick it up if you can.