Dynamixor
The performances transcend the film's tropes, grounding it in characters that feel more complete than this subgenre often produces.
Bumpy Chip
It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.
Marva
It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,
Anders Twetman
BORING! Boring, boring, boring. That single word, repeated over and over in absurdum would describe The Girl in Gold Boots better than better than any well formulated sentences. The movie has no plot, the characters are uninteresting, the dialog is mundane, it is all very very boring. I very nearly fell asleep while watching this thing, and that usually never happens to me.There's nothing more to say really, save that some filler text in this review holds more interest than the whole movie. Actually there is one thing, it is very forgettable as well, barely a day after I saw it, I cannot recall a single thing, that's how uninteresting it was.
Dextrousleftie
I absolutely love this movie, I don't know why. It's terrible in all of its parts. I've seen epileptics who have better dance moves than the title character and the girl Michelle. The songs are mediocre at best, the continuity and editing are both terrible, almost everybody in the film is oily looking and/or ugly, and there is no plot to speak of whatsoever. That said, for some reason despite these things(or maybe because of them), this movie is hilarious. The MST3K version is a delight, although something tells me that I'd still laugh a lot just watching it uncut. Michelle is not only the most untalented dancer that I've ever seen, she is dumber than a bag of hammers. 'Critter' is blandly good looking and not very talented at his chosen craft either. Buzz is a horrible little greaseball, and yet Michelle shacks up with him because he promises her that he can help her become a dancer with the aid of his drugged out sister(who also is a completely untalented dancer). But then, considering her disgusting drunker father, who she was still living and working with even though she had to be in her mid-twenties at least - Michelle does not have good taste in men or the brains to know when its a bad idea to shack up with a guy who carries a gun and pistol whips people with it at the drop of a hat. They all get mixed up with an oily drug dealer, and Buzz ends up killing a guy over heroin. He just gets better and better! The immensely lame 'plot' sort of trails off, as Critter goes off to fight in Vietnam after pummeling Buzz and Leo half to death. This after many, many horrible scenes of Michelle and/or Buzz's sister dancing. Stupid, completely stupid. But somehow, delightfully so. Makes me laugh every time I watch it.
MartinHafer
IMDb has a "bottom 100" films--those with the lowest ratings of the many thousands of films listed on the web site. The bottom 100 films list is pretty wretched, though many truly horrible films somehow missed inclusion on the list. And, oddly GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS did make the list--even though it's not that bad a film at all, especially for Ted V. Mikels. Mikels has made some amazingly bad films (such as CORPSE GRINDERS and ASTRO-ZOMBIES) but compared to these films, GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS is practically Shakespeare! Yet, of the three films I mentioned, inexplicably GIRL has the lowest IMDb rating. I think this is due to this film being featured on "Mystery Science Theater"--and I've noticed that many films shown on this show have LOTS of reviews and ratings because of the notoriety it gave them. The film is about three people who are heading to Los Angeles. One is a pretty lady whose life goal is to become a go-go dancer (she dreams big, huh?!). One is a punk guy who is thug through and through--he is the most poorly written and acted of the three--by far. And the last is a soulful guy who is cute, plays the guitar and sings. While these characters are all very one-dimensional, they are interesting and hard to ignore because the script and their roles are so tacky! When they get to L.A., they get jobs with a seedy nightclub owner. This jerk also deals drugs and has a twitchy and greasy sidekick who looks a bit like Dracula and a mortician morphed into one. The punk joins them in a "trio of terror", the lady realizes her dream job (only to realize it isn't that dreamy after all to be a go-go girl--who'd have figured?!) and the nice guy hangs around to keep an eye on the girl and to keep her out of trouble.The film is cheaply made and jam-packed full of silly 60s song and dance numbers and pop culture references. Lots and lots of silly go-go dancers fill the screen in the second half of the film and often it just looks like padding, but at least the girls are rather pretty and the script is semi-competent. The nice guy also inexplicably sings a couple numbers like Frankie Avalon and he was probably the only guy in the film who seemed to have much talent. But, being connected with Mikels and this film surely didn't help him very much in the long run. In fact, of all the main characters in the film, NONE OF THEM had a single credit other than this film!! Apparently this film was a kiss of death to their careers and they all eventually became go-go dancers!While the dialog is occasionally lame and the film isn't great, it is an interesting kitschy time capsule. Plus, for an ultra-low-budget film, it's pretty good and watchable. While compared to all films I might score it a 3, for a low budget "quickie" it is quite competent despite the Mikels touch!
ender1708
OK, this movie is so boring, ooooooooh sooooooooo boring.... no no you don't get it it's SO BORING IT HURTS!!!!!! it gave everyone i watched it with headaches...we actually started to bite our fingers just to have something to do... it physically hurts.... only thing i paid attention to were the MST3K comments.... and the dancing, ooooh the dancing. Basically it's about everything else other than what it's supposed to be about. Girl hooks up with dude turned drug dealer, young dashing bohemian dude drags along and becomes the janitor/songwriter in the club the aforementioned girl was... hmpfff... dancing. YOU'RE LIVING A LIE, YOU DANCE LIKE A CLOWN (more like a COW), I HOPE THAT YOU DIE! i mean c'mon, Steven Hawking dances better...My advice, never ever ever EVER try to watch it outside of MST3K.
