IslandGuru Who payed the critics

Konterr Brilliant and touching

Tayloriona Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

Lela The tone of this movie is interesting -- the stakes are both dramatic and high, but it's balanced with a lot of fun, tongue and cheek dialogue.

Coventry With a crazy over-the-top title like "We're Going to Eat You!", you should already know not to expect a cannibal film with nail-biting suspense and/or disturbing shock sequences, but more of a deranged black comedy with absurd situations and a light-headed ambiance. It all depends on your personal sense of humor, of course, but I thought this was a truly relaxing and imaginative Hong Kong cult film! There's not much of a storyline, but the gazillion Kung-Fu fighting sequences are masterfully choreographed and indescribably spectacular. On more than one occasion during these grotesque fights, I wondered how the hell it was possible for certain people to be so ingeniously pliant! The story's hero is Special Agent 999 who, in his quest to arrest the wanted criminal Rolex (I guess he steals watches) travels to an island inhabited by a strange community of cannibalistic weirdos. Agent 999 teams up with an eccentric loner and the only vegetarian girl in town to battle his way off the island again. The script limits itself to showing how 999 & C° get captured by the cannibals and how they subsequently fight their way out of the bubbling cauldrons again, so you really shouldn't consider watching this HK-splatter flick for its intelligent dialogs or slowly oozing suspense. The fights are funny and creative, with the roller-skating sequence as the absolute highlight, and also quite gory, since many of 999's opponents meet their death on sharp cooking objects like meat cleavers and butcher knives. The acting skills of the performers are modest, but they're artists of a different breed! Norman Chu, Eddy Ko and Melvin Wong know copious amounts of exhilarating Kung Fu moves and these definitely compensate for the lack of competent plotting. "We're Going To Eat You" is honestly one of the most entertaining & unpretentious horror-comedy hybrids I ever had the pleasure of seeing. Warmly recommended to watch with a bunch of friends on a lazy Saturday evening.

BA_Harrison Switching from gross-out gore, to slapstick comedy, to entertaining martial arts mayhem in the blink of an eye, 'We're Going To Eat You' grabs your attention from the word go and doesn't let go until the credits roll.Tsui Hark's second movie as a director sees Norman Chu as Agent 999 who, whilst tracking down the notorious bandit Rolex (Eddy Ko) on a remote island, stumbles upon a town inhabited by cannibals. Agent 999 spends the majority of the movie avoiding being filleted and served as a main course, only to be captured when he arrives back on the mainland. But with the help of some unlikely allies, some firecrackers and a couple of handy pairs of roller-skates, the good guys fight back and kick major cannibal ass!! This totally mad movie feels as though Tsui Hark made things up as he went along, but this only adds to the brilliance of the film—all semblance of logic quickly goes out of the window and it soon becomes apparent that anything might happen, and probably will.Even with the occasional lull in the action, the loads of blood and guts, nicely choreographed fights courtesy of Corey Yuen, and truly unforgettable characters (including a sex mad giant of a woman and some of the ugliest actors ever committed to celluloid), ensure that We're Going To Eat You is solid trashy entertainment from start to finish.

EVOL666 WE'RE GOING TO EAT YOU is definitely one of the stranger films I've seen in a while...and honestly one of the more enjoyable. It's a very strange hybrid of kung-fu action, cannibal horror, and comedy - with some really off the wall scenes, and some decent gore.This one has a special government agent (known as agent 999) who goes to a remote island village to track down and arrest a notorious thief. Turns out the villagers are all cannibals who dine on unsuspecting visitors. Gore and hilarity ensue early on as our hero has numerous misadventures with the local townspeople which include various freaks, crazed mask-wearing butchers, a giant transvestite, and the towns chief - a greedy dick who hordes all the "meat" for himself and his security team, leaving almost nothing for the townspeople to live on.This could have been a really dark film considering the subject matter, but WE'RE GOING TO EAT YOU is intentionally handled as a comedy with all sorts of goofiness to lighten the film - including the insatiable transvestite that doesn't take "no" for an answer, and a hilarious kung-fu segment involving roller-skates and fire-crackers. Many cross-genre films don't really work - but WE'RE GOING TO EAT YOU pulls it off. A great Sunday afternoon diversion - especially with a few drinks in ya...8/10

fertilecelluloid Of the Hong Kong directors who have been most highly regarded by critics and punters, I find Tsui Hark to be the most overrated. Even "Chinese Ghost Story", which has often been credited to Hark and is a very effective and surreal horror pic, was not directed by Hark, but was directed by "Naked Weapon's" Ching Siu-Tung."We Are Going To Eat You" has all the flaws of (most) subsequent and previous Hark movies. It is chaotic, repetitive and confusing. The characters are all exaggerated to the point of irritation and the so-called comedy is forced and shrill. There is a gratuitous overuse of wide, low angle compositions and much of the music is inappropriately loud -- one of the main cues, from Argento's "Suspiria" (by Goblin), is an often repeated offender.Hark leaves his audience no time to breathe or take in the atmosphere in this odd piece of "horror fu" which is a pity because the island location that hero Norman Tsui (Agent 999) lands on to search for a legendary thief, is suitably creepy and hostile. Unfortunately, every scene is attacked with a sledgehammer and every actor overreacts to everything. What you end up with is a film with no shading and no contrast, a loud blob of sound and picture serving no purpose but to assault the senses like an infant screaming into your face for ninety minutes.For gore hounds there is a bit of limb-lopping and copious blood is spilled, but there is zero suspense and endless martial arts fights that come across like low rent Jackie Chan. And speaking of Chan, many viewers will recognize the familiar "Project A" sets on display.Hark's debut feature "The Butterfly Murders" bored me silly and his follow-up "Dangerous Encounters" (aka "Don't Play With Fire") didn't impress either with its confused politics and sledgehammer style. His "The Lovers", however, made almost two decades later, is his finest achievement so far, a simple romantic drama directed with admirable restraint and style.This film's mix of cannibalism, broad physical comedy and kung fu comes across as misdirected and awkward. I'd only recommend this to die-hard Hark or cannibal cinema completists. The rest should look elsewhere for their entertainment.