Leslie Howard Adams
"Smoking Guns" is not even close to being the worse B-Western ever filmed---the films of producers Victor Adamson, Robert J. Horner, Ande Lamb, Ron Ormond and 98.9% of all of the spaghetti westerns keep it from even making the worse-30 list---but it is the absolute, bottom-of-the-barrel stinker to ever be financed and released by Universal Pictures, although some of the westerns from the 50's carrying an Universal-International logo are close to being as ludicrous."Smoking Guns" was the last of the eight westerns starring and produced by Ken Maynard at Universal, after the Laemmle's gave Maynard a contract and his own "Ken Maynard Productions Company" unit, which they soon had cause to regret,as Maynard was not the easiest cowboy in the corral to keep corralled. Maynard owned his own plane and, between pictures, decided he would fly it on down to Central and South America. Maynard enjoyed his trip and his enjoyment was enhanced by the fact that he carried along a camera and shot some footage, not unlike thousands of tourists were doing with their 8mm hand-holds.But the tourists were only going to expose their footage to friends and relatives and have a limited-fallout, but Maynard had another plan; if he used the footage in his next film, the cost of the flying vacation could be charged against the Maynard production unit, which consisted of his name and Universal's money. But, before he could do that, he had to make a film and some of the film had to take place in some unnamed country south of the El Paso/Juarez border---way south---so he dreams up one of the most outlandish western-movie plots ever filmed until "Billy the Kid Vs. Dracula" and "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" hit the screen in 1966. Speaking here of complete films and not just dumb sequences like those in "Duel in the Sun" or "The Outlaw." Ken decides he'll write a plot about an honest cowhand-rancher who is framed on a murder charge and has to cut a (long) trail down to South America to avoid being lynched. But the Texas Rangers are on his trail. So when next seen, it is three years later, and Ken has been hiding out in some South American swamp, and his hair has turned white, and he has a white beard that is longer than the one worn by "der Inspector" in the "Katzemjammer Kids" comic strip, but the checked-shirt and his pants remain as spotless and well-pressed as they were when he left Texas three years earlier. This swamp is hell on people but does no damage to wardrobe. So here comes Texas Ranger Walter Miller who has been chasing Maynard for three years and he has a beard straight out of a community theatre production of "Robinson Crusoe" but his hair has remained black, and his clothes are also in great condition and, in fact, his wardrobe is the same as that usually worn by Ken Maynard, and some Ken Maynard fans may have been wondering why Walter Miller was wearing Maynard's "outfit." Actually, Miller's costume has suffered some minor damage due to the fact that a gator or croc or something has bitten a chunk out his leg, and when Maynard finds him, Miller now has a gangrenous leg and is going to die if his leg isn't amputated, so Maynard whips out a carving knife and is going to save Miller's life, but while Maynard is sharpening the knife, Miller up and shoots himself rather than face life with only one leg. Well, that's the explanation given in Maynard's script and film, anyway.But, being the star, Maynard has to hang around and, since he has a freshly-sharpened carving knife, decides to give the late-just departed Miller a shave,and then discovers that Miller-minus-his-beard looks just like Ken Maynard used to look before his hair turned white and he grew a beard. Of all the swamps in all the world ain't it lucky that the Ranger chasing Maynard turned up in this one, and turned out to be Maynard's look-alike double..once shaven that is. Gee, thinks Maynard, all I have to do now is find some shoe polish and dye my hair or, failing that, take off this wig, change clothes with this guy,as soon as I patch the pants where the croc or gator or something bit a chuck out of them, take his badge, since he doesn't need no badge or, in South America, a bawdge, and go back to Texas posing as this Ranger and prove that Harold Goodwin did the deed that caused me to be in this swamp. Nobody will recognize me since I now have white hair and a beard if I get rid of the white hair and beard.The only way that logic scans if he is thinking the jungle denizens won't recognize him because, when last seen in Texas, the now-shaven and hair-dyed Maynard looks just like he did when he was last seen crossing the border in Del Rio. But, by golly, he is right. Back in Texas, everybody thinks he is Walter Miller, whom he favored none at all when both men left Texas, and nobody thinks he is fugitive Ken Maynard even though he still looks like the Ken Maynard that left town. But there is a slight change...he is now wearing the wardrobe Ken Maynard usually wore in his Universal films but wasn't wearing when last seen in Texas as Ken Maynard. Clothes do indeed make (or change) the man, especially in this Ken Maynard film, that doesn't seem to include any of the "locale" footage he made in order to bill Universal for the cost of his flying-trip vacation...which he charged them for anyway."Smoking Guns" is an unintended Horror film because it is so awful, but it ain't Gothic. More like Got-cha.Ken Maynard and Carl Laemmle Senior and Junior parted company after this film.
reptilicus
***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** Scary westerns are usually hard to come by. We often had to settle for things like CURSE OF THE UNDEAD (1957) where a mysterious gunfighter (Michael Pate) never loses a showdown because he is an undead vampire; THE FIEND THE WALKED THE WEST which is a terror film disguised as a western or BILLY THE KID MEETS DRACULA (1965) which I should not even bring up. SMOKING GUNS is a hard film to find but well worth the search because it succeeds in being a terror film, a western, and a psychgological drama all at once. Ken Maynard plays a kid whose rancher father has vanished. Ken thinks the local cattle baron is to blame and confronts him. There is a fight and the cattle barons cowardly son sees his chance to take over the rich empire. He kills his dad and frames Ken who has to go on the run. So far it is still a standard western but stick around. All this has happened in just the first reel! 3 years later a deputy tracks Ken to a steaming, murky swamp and is determined to bring him back. Defeated by time and caring little now Ken goes with him but en route they are attacked by gigantic alligators who swamp their tiny boat and severely mangle the deputy's leg! (The gators are mechanical but the editing in this sequence is superb and the action is never less than riveting. Ken has to amputate the mans gangrenous leg but the deputy, not wanted to live as a cripple, shoots himself. This gives Ken the inspiration to disguise himself as the deputy (which he accomplishes by dyeing his hair black) and returning to his former home to get the goods on the real killer. The deputy's fiancee knows Ken is not her intended right away but believes his story about what happened in the swamp. The murderer does not recognise him though (just keep saying "It's only a movie . . .only a movie. . ."). Ken's home is now a crumbling ruin and people think is is haunted because sometimes they see a dishelved madman on the balcony screaming wildly before vanishing. The house is full of secret passages and Ken goes to look for evidence when he is met by the madman. But wait! Could it be? Ken looks beneath the matted beard and wild eyes and recognises his dad! He wasn't gunned down after all, just hit on the head and left for dead. A second blow on the head from one of the villains henchmen restores his memory ("It's only a movie . . .only a movie . . .")and father and son team up to stop the evil cattle rancher. But can two men stand alone against the greedy killer and his paid posse? For a movie that runs barely an hour there is a lot crammed into SMOKING GUNS. It is without a doubt an effective scary mystery with elemoents of terror. The alligator attack is very memorable and scenes in the dark corridors of the old mansion are very well done and appropriately atmospheric. There is some racial humour typical of the era involving a scared-of-his-own-shadow black farmhand named "Cinders" and his girlfriend. Amazingly when the chips are down even he grabs a gun to defend his buddy Ken, shattering a stereotype even if only for one movie. If you like this one you might also want to check out MYSTERY RANCH (1932)offering Charles Middleton as the most unlikable villain any western ever offered.
