SpuffyWeb Sadly Over-hyped

Chirphymium It's entirely possible that sending the audience out feeling lousy was intentional

Lollivan It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

Helllins It is both painfully honest and laugh-out-loud funny at the same time.

MartinHafer Aye, aye, aye....where to begin?! This horrible movie is just terrible in just about every way...no, wait...EVERY WAY. My only questions are who was insane enough to think this sort of film would sell AND why is this movie currently only ranked the fifth worst film on IMDb?! The film looks like someone with a few dollars (not that many, actually) thought that other martial arts films are bad because they are violent, have actors with actual martial arts skills and don't star talentless kids and teens. So, they went to their nearest karate studio and recruited all the white, yellow and a few green belt kids and asked them if they wanted to star in a movie! While I saw a lot of people with black belts on here, I just assume they bought them and did nothing to earn them, as my cat knows about as much about self-defense as these knuckleheads!! The plot, not that you'll ever care, is that an evil force (led by a cute 9 year-old) can only be countered by three talentless 'ninjas'. These good ninjas consist of three kids in karate who are given special masks that allow them to have really, really below-average and SLOW fighting skills!! If these kids are the world's only hope,...then we are so royally screwed! There is nothing...nothing positive I can say about this film. Horrible writing (if they even had I writers--I honestly think they just made it up as they went along, horrible action (I hate to even use the word 'action'--this implies something more than Tai Chi speed fighting), inept direction and annoying characters--this film rates a zero in all departments. Plus, the idea of watching a film consisting mostly of obnoxious teens with their annoying dialog is NOT anyone's idea of a good time!! The only value this film might have is to use to interrogate members of Al Qaeda, however Amnesty International would be all over the President's butt if they ever did anything that cruel and inhuman!!

Karin Ishida Sometimes I watch movies from the "Bottom 100" to laugh a little, but this "film", if it is actually allowed to call it this way, outclassed everything I have ever seen before. It is not funny like "plan 9" or "the claw" it is sad. It really hurts to see acting, that could be outclassed by every kindergarten theater group on this planet.The biggest problem of the movie is the "numbing-factor", your brain will be switched off by the movie and you will be stunned until the credits start.Even though the movie has a story, too stupid for any 1st-grader, it doesn't really follow these. The actors are just fooling around for 80 minutes. Trust me and do not watch this movie. If you did, demand refunds from the director. If you didn't pay to watch the movie, then sue him for solatium, for this is mental cruelty on tape.

anicholis The special appearances by Chuck Woolrey, William Hung and Fabio/Sammy Hagar/Roger Daltrey make this the summer hit for 2006 you don't want to miss! Suzanne Hennigar's turn as Jonathan Brandis's mom was hot...very hot...The PG rating tells you from the beginning that nothing is going to happen, but when you see her on screen, you want it to anyway. You spend the duration of the film also waiting for something to happen between Fabio and his young pupil, Tanya. Overall, a pretty good film. Some minor repetition of sequences and corny dialogue, but all-in-all, worth the $1. IMDb demands that we type in ten lines of text. Therefore, we'll dedicate the next six lines to sharing our top ten favorite moments in this epic ninja adventure. 10. Weird eye makeup on Damien outside the dojo. 9. Susanne's bondage scene. 8. Gameboy with no game. 7. "Mom. They took my Mom." 6. Willy Wonka-esquire balloon scene. 5. Running-up-the-wall kick in final scene. 4. Over-sized virtual reality helmet. 3. Fat, creepy girlfriend Amy at end of movie. 2. Sexual tension between Mario Lopez and Tanya. 1. Sexual tension between Gary Daniels and Suzanne Hennegar.

MaskedMarauder My favorite scene is the one where the White Dragon fights one of Cobra Khan's minions in a carnival building. Also, when Gary Daniels tries to woo the woman in the blue spandex, the outpourings of poetry from his mouth makes me wish it was I that he was speaking to. I once saw a movie called "Manos: The Hands of Fate," and thought it was pretty good. After I saw "Pocket Ninjas," I realized that "pretty good" was just not good enough. I have no wish to turn this review into a panegyric or paean to the beauty and incomprehensible, stunning visual conceptualization of this cinematic masterpiece, but truly, you need to see this if you are ever going to consider yourself a true connoisseur of film. Mmm. I think I'm going to slide it into my DVD player right now. . .