Sameer Callahan It really made me laugh, but for some moments I was tearing up because I could relate so much.

Sienna-Rose Mclaughlin The movie really just wants to entertain people.

Sanjeev Waters A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

Beulah Bram A film of deceptively outspoken contemporary relevance, this is cinema at its most alert, alarming and alive.

klemm1 This movie is pure, unadulterated crap. Characters are uninspired and totally lost. The actors are asked to say and do such stupid things for no reason it is embarrassing. The script is such a mess it is hard to even begin how terrible it is. I think an 7th grade child could write a better script. There is nothing remotely good about this film. Don't waste you time watching this tripe. Anyone who gives this more than 1 Star should be banished to Iceland to live with the monster... it better killed by the monster.I think this could be a cult film It is so awful.

John Zappulla The worst waste of time and film. A good double feature with Battlefield Earth. This film has no rhyme or reason and you will be very disappointed unless you are heavily sedated. You too will wonder what the heck Helen Mirren was thinking. I know she said in a recent interview she has to do what she needed to survive, but damn. Trust me, the plot has nothing to do with the movie and the movie has nothing to do with the plot. I sat through the entire what ever this is, and kept saying to myself, this is going to get good, it's going to make sense, there has to be something! But, I was greatly mistaken. Right through to the last scene you too will say, did they run out of budget and just shut the whole thing down?

jshoaf I really like this movie. Partly that's because I like Iceland. You would swear that the Icelanders describing the monster were reciting Beowulf.No such Thing is a version of "Beauty and the Beast" that would make Jean Cocteau jealous: the need of Beauty for the Beast and vice-versa is stripped of psychology or eroticism, and the likelihood that "this is all a dream" is pushed at us again and again. First, we have the unlikelihood that Beatrice survived the plane crash, or left the operating table under the hands of her Fairy Godmother. Then, there are the terrific little moments like the one where we watch the Beast turn away from us and hunch over, like any carnival fire-spitter, to prepare the mouthful of liquid which he will then spit out in flames. "I saw him breathe fire," says Beatrice later, to clarify that her monster is the genuine article. And then there is the Matter Eradicator, a device designed to convince the Matter that he has no self, that he does not in fact exist.Like Cocteau's Beast (or the gorgeous beast played by Ron Perlman in the TV series), the Monster is quite attractive and looks very gentlemanly (his costume suggests Heathcliff), is brave, and keeps his promises. Like Cocteau's Beast, he is not pleased with his own murderous nature. He drinks to salve the pain of being inhuman. In No Such Thing, however, we need not fear that the Monster will suddenly turn into a boring human prince. There is no Gothic hint that he is a suitable object of sexual desire, or that lust is something he feels (rather, it is something that his human neighbors project on him by "dumping a piece of ass" on his island from time to time).The movie keeps its balance between the blessing that Beatrice might bring to the Monster and the role the Monster plays in the human imagination. Helen Mirren's character and her cohorts have developed to a point of civilization where they no longer fear the Monster. They happily express in word and deed their own cruelty and rapacity, which far outrun the monster's. To them he is fascinating as a being who can be tortured indefinitely and in many ways without actually dying. The good scientists, Dr. Anna and Dr. Artaud, on the other hand see the monster as matter to be eradicated. Beatrice, however, who is wholly good, simply loves the Monster.I think there is no ending to the film because there is no beginning. Beatrice keeps losing consciousness; before our eyes, she shows blind faith in some pretty doubtful tricks. So we are not allowed to suspend belief sufficiently to trust the final sequence of events. The face of Beatrice is offered as a kind of vision at the end, like the vision of God at the end of Dante's Divine Comedy. What would you want to see when you are about to have your matter eradicated? Surely this glowing face of love.The question, if we did suspend disbelief, would be: can the Matter Eradicator, which we are told relies on the Monster's acceptance that he has no self, work when he sees that face? If not, he is back in the hands of the torturers. He does not need Beauty's kiss; he needs a Minna, as in Coppola's Dracula, to cut off his head. Or a Beowulf.

russem31 This is truly a bizarre film - I don't even know if I mean it in a good or bad way, just plain bizarre. If you consider it a black comedy, I guess it's very interesting and sometimes is very funny. This is mostly due to the actors: especially Robert John Burke, who expertly plays the Monster, a mythological alcoholic and overly cynical creature that has existed since the beginning of time. Helen Mirren is also a highlight (as she always is) in the role of the work driven and very cold-acting Boss of the female costar (Sarah Polley as a quirky Beatrice, who does the best she can given the material and dialogue she had to work with). However, aside from the acting, the story is so bizarre, I don't know if I really like it or not - it's the elements I already mentioned that I can appreciate and understand that make it worthwhile for me. Hence the rating I give it - 6 out of 10.