Gurlyndrobb
While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.
Sabah Hensley
This is a dark and sometimes deeply uncomfortable drama
Ezmae Chang
This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.
Scott LeBrun
A runaway barrel of toxic waste lands in a rural body of water, contaminating the local crickets that are used as food for the residents of a nearby spider farm. Naturally, the 200 or so exotic arachnids grow to mammoth proportions and attack the terrified townspeople en masse. A former resident, Chris McCormick (David Arquette, the "Scream" series), has returned home, just in time to help Sheriff Samantha Parker (Kari Wuhrer, "Anaconda"), the romantic idol of his life, and various other citizens combat the eight legged monsters."Eight Legged Freaks" turned out about as good as one could hope for, given that it's treading rather familiar ground. But it does do its job, which is both spoofing and paying homage to its influences, namely 1950s "giant creepy-crawly" cinema such as "Tarantula" and "Them!" (The latter is briefly shown playing on TV.) While it's not in the same league as "Tremors", it still serves up an agreeable dose of PG-13 rated horror along with comedy. Also offering up echoes of "Gremlins" and "Aliens", it makes its fearsome CGI beasts pretty funny themselves by giving them cartoonish vocalizations (supplied by the legendary voice-over artist Frank Welker). Yes, the beasts are digitally rendered most of the time, but some of the animation is pretty decent.Co-writer and debuting director Ellory Elkayem gives his movie great pace and great energy, and keeps things interesting by offing quite a few of the more expendable characters. Pets are also fair game.The typically amusing Arquette dials down his particular brand of goofy eccentricity a bit in order to play a more conventional sort of hero, and he does an alright job. Wuhrer kicks lots of spider ass, and looks damn fine doing it; she has to be one of the sexiest ever small town sheriffs seen in film. Scott Terra ("Daredevil") is Wuhrers' egghead son, the character whom we know will grasp the situation early on, and Scarlett Johansson ("Don Jon") is her somewhat sassy teenage daughter. Doug E. Doug ("Cool Runnings") has his moments as a paranoid local radio DJ. Comedian Rick Overton ("Groundhog Day") is a hoot as Wuhrers' fumbling, Barney Fyfe-style deputy, Eileen Ryan ("Feast") is endearing as Arquette's aunt, and the great character actor Leon Rippy ('Deadwood') is effectively slimy as the crooked mayor / entrepreneur. Tom Noonan ("Manhunter") appears unbilled as the spider farm owner / operator."Eight Legged Freaks" will be too overly silly and juvenile for some tastes, but it's quite endearing overall, and impossible to dislike.Seven out of 10.
Andrew Leah
As the title suggests, if you don't get the satire of this movie you simply don't get movies. It's not trying to be Hamlet or Die Hard, it's stupid and it admits it's stupid. The premise is silly (spiders will never be the size of houses e.g.) but it's an enjoyable romp. Plenty of hidden jokes - Grant Wood - American Gothic et al; and yes a predictable outcome. It's not a "Fuck You" movie as Reginald D. Hunter would describe. It's humorous. It's not great but if you wanna waste a couple of hours attached from reality this your movie.
FlashCallahan
The residents of a mining town discover that a chemical spill has caused hundreds of spiders to mutate overnight to the size of SUVs. It's then up to mining engineer Chris McCormack and Sheriff Sam Parker to gather a group of townspeople, including the Sheriff's son, Mike, her daughter, Ashley, and radio announcer Harlan, into battle against the eight- legged behemoths.With all the good intentions of the film trying to homage creature features from the fifties, Eight Legged Freaks forgets to do the important thing when homaging a genre, to make it a fun.I wanted something in the vein of Gremlins, something that was dark, as well as funny, but it's not dark at all, in fact, watching it 14 years after it's release, it's about at the standard of an Asylum production.To make a film like this, you really have to go over the top with the narrative, because after the initial Spider rampage starts, you need some characters who are eccentric, and have some strange character traits.The cast are okay, but they have nothing about them. Arquette just does Dewey, but with a higher intellect, Doug E Doug plays the most interesting character, but again, they could have really made the paranoid DJ just that little more crazier.In a world where Sharknado and Lavantula exist, this bigger budget product looks quite lame compared to those two franchises, because it's just a little to serious for it's own good.Only worth seeing if you have a strange desire to see Scarlett Johannssen get covered in a spider web....
Python Hyena
Eight-Legged Freaks (2002): Dir: Ellory Elkayem / Cast: David Arquette, Kari Wuhrer, Scarlett Johansson, Doug E. Doug, Rick Overton: Presenting a mutating normality that isn't a great idea. The simple plot regards a barrel of toxic substance spilling into a river with a growth affect on spiders. What follows is numerous attacks on people for no other purpose than to entertain stupidity. Horrible special effects with spiders jumping out at people but it doesn't even look as if any contact is being made. Repetitious story with director Ellory Elkayem quoting from other pathetic spider trauma movies. David Arquette hardly sympathetic as he arrives back in town after ten years away. After this film he may desire to take ten years off from acting so to forget this sh*t stain film altogether. Kari Wuhrer plays a Sheriff who warns daughter Scarlett Johansson about sexually corrupt males. Perhaps she should warn her about accepting scripts as lame as this one and then apply the same medicine to herself. Doug E. Doug plays a radio personality who believes in aliens. Well, if he believes that this film is a career booster then perhaps he can believe in anything. Rick Overton plays Wuhrer's moron Deputy who has cob webs for brains. Basically a send off to superior monster movies of the 1950's but this film should be squashed with an oversized sledgehammer. Score: 3 / 10
