Softwing Most undeservingly overhyped movie of all time??

Solidrariol Am I Missing Something?

Stoutor It's not great by any means, but it's a pretty good movie that didn't leave me filled with regret for investing time in it.

KnotStronger This is a must-see and one of the best documentaries - and films - of this year.

PeachHamBeach The posters and DVD arts project this to be a sexy crime thriller about a female bank or jewel robber or something. Instead, it's a romantic drama with a touch of crime thriller here and there but nothing like what you'd have expected.I don't mind the film for what it is. Beatrice (Bee-Ah-Trich-E) is a lovely Italian woman who has gone the straight after a career as an armed robber. She still keeps in touch with a few of her old friends from that life, but mainly, she has gone straight. I wasn't sure if this film was going anywhere interesting, then it turned into a romantic drama when Beatrice meets a guy named Alan (Jared Harris) who works at a classical radio station by night and teaches young kids in school by day. If you want to appreciate the European art/sex film elements of this film, such as full frontal nudity and wild sex scenes, then it will entertain you in that way for a while, as Beatrice and her new lover struggle with his impotence, bad oysters and getting to know each other.When a friend of B's, played by the luscious Jonathan Rhys-Meyers comes into the scene, suddenly there's an actual 2 way plot going somewhere, but this is not until at least 1/3 or 2/3 into the movie. A very troubled (downright psychotic) kid at Alan's school stabs another child with a pencil, the whole thing turns ugly and suddenly Alan is faced with losing his teaching job. At the same time, B's friend needs her to come out of retirement to help him get some debts cleared up.Asia Argento is a fun actress to watch, even if she's not the greatest actress ever. Still, this film seems to not be able to make up its mind what it wanted to be. It's entertaining in some ways, but not exciting enough for me to recommend.

bob the moo Alan Furnace is a school teacher who's only joy in life is his late-night slot on hospital radio where he can play the light jazz he loves so much. Seeking more excitement in his life, he takes an interest in a collection of people in a local pub who the barman describes as "criminals". Despite this Alan approaches the woman of the group – the sexy and charming Beatrice, but is surprised when she responds to his advances. As he gets to know her, he uncovers a damaged soul with a murky past and dark present that perhaps he would be keep out of; however, as much as he is put off he is drawn in and soon finds himself involved deeper than he had ever planned.I'll be honest and say that I was only drawn to this film by the strange title; other than that I had no idea what it was about but decided to give it a stab anyway. However the film seems to be aiming for a mood rather than a narrative and, as a result, this film is more about the tone and feel and thus it fails to really engage because the story isn't there. Well, there is a story but it comes second to the mood and it isn't well developed, is full of illogical holes that just don't convince and feels like a mishmash of other films' ideas. It is interesting at points but ultimately it doesn't work. The film tries to be seedy and introspective, using smoky rooms, jazz and crime as motivators and the "normal guy" as our way in, but even this doesn't totally work and elements of it failing make it feel like it has all been forced from the start – certainly the choice of the jazz music is way off.However, as the title suggests, the film is more about Beatrice than the other characters and, as such, it is interesting enough even if she isn't as well developed a character as a "character driven film" would usually require. The performance from Argento is good and she has a real sexy presence that is more than just her taking her clothes off for the cameras – it is an aspect of her character that the film uses well. Harris is every bit as bland as the music he plays and he is the reason why I never bought the main relationship once – OK, she's after a "nice guy" but would she go for someone so very bland? The rest of the cast are colourful enough and do OK work with very basic material; Rhys-Meyers is good, Everett does his usual lazy, bi-sexual performance, Hart has a small role and the rest are just basic "East End thug" sorts.Overall this is a film to watch for the sexy, dark presence of Argento and that alone. Outside of her, the narrative is pretty weak and never really convinced me or involved me; the dramatic fireworks come and go without really doing much and by the end I was pretty bored by the whole affair. Argento and some of the support cast make it worth a go but, like Harris and his type of jazz music, this film is consistently bland and uninteresting.

Theo Robertson On paper this looks like a good movie with Michael Radford directing an adaptation of an Andrew Davies novel but before the opening titles have even finished you find out what the fault of the movie is: Supply teacher Alan works at a hospital as the inhouse DJ and before you've even had time to digest this the action jump cuts to Beatrice and co carrying out a robbery , this is so much a shock in terms of juxtaposition it's like the channel has suddenly jumped to another station and you're watching another movie . Not only that but Beatrice's expositional voice over seems stilted and faintly ridiculous not helped by the fact that Asia Argento seems to have a problem saying the " F " word convincingly . Indeed none of the actors in this production seems to be able to swear with any conviction . Considering nearly every sentence contains expletives this is a serious problem with the movie But the dialogue is not the only serious problem ,there's serious signs of under development with the script . Check the scene where Beatrice and Alan meet for the first time . I guess it might have worked okay on paper but watching the scene on celluloid makes the whole scenario unlikely . And there's other scenes like this , for example Beatrice and her colleague turn up at the house of a parent who has made a complaint about Alan . No doubt Alan knows where the parent lives but there's no hint that Alan has passed this information to Beatrice so how would she know where to find the parent ? In a film where the audience are asking themselves where this bizarre and muddled plot is heading plot holes like this jump out of the screen and strangle the critical viewer Radford directs well but he's the wrong choice since B MONKEY seems to be attempting to be a chic British thriller with some black comedy thrown in , but the actors play their roles in a loud European way which contrasts with the British locations and language . One can't help feeling this movie would have worked far better if Davies novel had been transported to Paris or Rome with Radford employing a native cast speaking their own language . As it is B MONKEY is yet another messy Brit flick with a totally ill thought out script

Rogue-32 Saw this on cable the other night - a very stylish and energetic little film, with fine central performances from Asia Argente, the always-great Jared Harris and Rupert Everett (who broods like no other). Catch this Monkey if you can.