The Watermen
The Watermen
R | 25 December 2011 (USA)
The Watermen Trailers

A clan of watermen capture a crew of sport fishermen who must then fight for their lives.

Reviews
Redwarmin This movie is the proof that the world is becoming a sick and dumb place
SpuffyWeb Sadly Over-hyped
Tayloriona Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.
Ezmae Chang This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.
SnoopyStyle Three guys and three girls charter a fishing cruise. The boat breaks down and they are distressed as they drift helplessly in the ocean. They are finally rescued by a passing fishing trawler which gives them water. They eagerly drink up and pass out from the tampered bottles. It's a brutal ocean cruise of horrors as the cannibal fishermen gleefully torture the young people.This is simple torture porn. It's not that imaginative. The guys are too douchey. The girls are all T&A. The girls do end up with individual characters after escaping their bonds. This movie does certain things well but nothing great. The fishermen need to be more specific. I could never be certain how many they are exactly. There are some gruesome kills. This is only for fans of this type of torture porn horror who don't expect much.
Neil Welch The Watermen is essentially a cabin in the woods film - a group of teenagers / students / young people stuck in some backwoods and subjected to slaughter by a group of hillbillies / mutants / whatever. In this case, the mutants are fishermen, the backwoods are swamps, and the slaughter is in order to mince the victims for fish bait.The good news is that there are places where this is done with some style (particularly some of the night photography on the water), the girls are pretty (albeit one of them is obviously and unattractively enhanced), and there are the sort of horror / slasher shenanigans we expect.The not such good news is rather more extensive. The acting is poor, the film takes forever to get going, the baddies are incomprehensible (and, as usual, almost unkillable), the victims behave unbelievably (as usual, decking someone who is trying to kill them and then immediately turning their back on them, to name but one), and the violence is fairly sadistic. And the whole thing is utterly predictable.So this is not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, but it is not without any merit at all.
tdeladeriere This thriller starts in medias res, as a girl is being hunter at night in the swamp by a couple of hulking goons in fishermen's attire. After she meets her fate, we are introduced to six fine pieces of trash Americana leisuring in a posh villa. The 3 girls look right out of a bikini-happy euro-dance music video and the 3 guys, who use "Dude" at the beginning of each sentence, probably hit the gym 3 times a day. This fine group of clueless bourgeoisie get ready for a fishing trip (duh ?) in the middle of the sea.Before they embark, they stop by some kind of store run by an old fisherman that sells them "special" bait. Turns out the bait if made of human flesh, as the 6 airheads will soon discover.To its credit, this movie is slickly directed and photographed. Nocturnal swamp scenes could have easily turned into one giant black screen with dialogue in any other B-movie, but the director of photography knew what he was doing. It all looks quite professional.It's all the more sorry that there's not a single novel idea in the movie that could save it from instant disposability. Clichés abound, and quite cringe-worthy ones, I'll tell you : one of the girls, who didn't know what she was getting into, is actually the lead's former girlfriend, of course they fall in love again, everybody gets drunk before the drama begins, the first ones to die are the hottest and dumbest but they still show their tits, the villains talk some kind of Russian, the main goon comes back from the dead so often that you feel like you're watching another "Friday the 13th" installment, the male lead drops his shirt for completely out-of-place action sequences, there's a baton-of-fire fight that looks more like capoeira than a real fight for survival, and I forget some.This movie's been done before a hundred times (and the director must have seen all hundred) spanning the whole gamut of Hollywood genres : survival, action, romance, stoner comedy... Still, it's done professionally, and past the 1st 40 minutes, it moves fast enough that an undemanding audience will have its fun, as did I. And it doesn't hurt that the whole cast (male & female) is goddamn gorgeous and not shy of dropping their tops.
David Holt (rawiri42) Having read some of the other 14 reviews of The Watermen, I was almost tempted not to watch it (even though I was given a copy for free). Come on people, you knew before you watched this movie that is was a low- budget, no-big-name (including the director) effort!Sure, it was no blockbuster either but it wasn't all THAT bad! Sure, there were some rather stupid bits - like, for example (and as someone else pointed out) where the last surviving "good guy" insists on going back to the place of absolute terror "to get medical supplies" - NO ONE in such a situation would EVER make such an idiotic suggestion! But, allowing for the fact that no viewer has ever BEEN in such a situation, how do we know how we might behave? Has anyone thought about that?Sure, the plot was somewhat bizarre (to say the least) - but then aren't most horror movies like that? I mean, no one who was dead came back from the dead - again and again - as they do in some much higher-rated horror flicks. I would have liked to see some of the bad guys get more graphically dealt with - like, at least as bad as they were dishing out and there is no doubt that the avid horror-flick addicts would have appreciated that but, all-in-all, The Watermen was all that bad and, contrary to what someone suggested, a lot more fun than watching grass grow!
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