Protraph Lack of good storyline.

GarnettTeenage The film was still a fun one that will make you laugh and have you leaving the theater feeling like you just stole something valuable and got away with it.

SeeQuant Blending excellent reporting and strong storytelling, this is a disturbing film truly stranger than fiction

AshUnow This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

Areles Director A. Raven Cruz has managed to effectively make one long tribute to the creative talents of Phil Tucker (Robot Monster), Hal Warren (Manos, the Hand of Fate), and the ubiquitous Edward D. Wood.Now Phil Tucker at least worked with Lenny Bruce, and did have a rudimentary knowledge of editing (how else could he have cut all that stock footage into his films). And Hall Warren at least had the common decency to stop making films, after his first one. And Ed Wood, well bless his pointed angora draped head, he was just too wacky to ignore. But one thing these guys all had in common, they tried to tell a story.The Helix: Loaded is a vanity piece masquerading as a movie. Anyone that could look at this film and believe it deserves a "10" has been sitting in a closed garage with the engine running. "The Helix: Loaded" doesn't simply suck. It Swallows!

thawkins-2 Let me just say that I liked Helix. I really did. For a low-budget spoof, it came across incredibly well. The special effects were very high caliber at times, the performance of the actors was believable, and the writing was good.However, this isn't a movie I could recommend to plop down the 9 bucks I did to see it. It's good, in an "insomniac-can't-sleep-turn-on-the-TV" kind of way. An enjoyable movie that should be a stable in any spoof lovers video collection.Why not a big screen caliber performance? Well, it dragged at times. While most of the jokes were funny, very few made me laugh hysterically (i.e. Jim Carry or Dave Chappelle). The scenery and props were passable and created a quasi-believable backdrop for the story, but everything seemed a bit too grungy at times and the lack of high quality video gave the movie an aged cheap look (maybe that was the point).

SSHISERV The Helix Loaded: This movie had the potential to be a big comedy, and for all fair and balanced purposes started out as funny, but then sadly the humor, like the 'One', died off fast. It would seem from watching the movie that there were several hands in the script writing cookie jar, judging from the different directions the script was taking and manifesting. Moments in the movie that were intended to be funny came off awkward and dead in its own translation. The actors, at too many points, over exceeded their characters adding to the dismal portrayal of a first time movie effort for director A. Raven Cruz. In addition, add to this poor timing on the movie release (two years after the Matrix Trilogy had passed) you are left with a time capsule movie rather than a parody following immediately after the Matrix Trilogy. In closing, I found the movie to be painfully dragging in character / story development and confusing on story lines and delivery by the characters. For first time movie director Cruz to realize that this movie is better suited for the incinerator rather than the silver screen would be the right step towards becoming a director who 'can see outside the box' (as he puts it so well) to notice the apparent flaws throughout this project.

MovieAddict2016 Move over Orson Welles, there's a new cinematic piece of excellence coming our way - THE HELIX...LOADED! When I first saw this entry on IMDb I was a bit suspicious, but I knew I had to see it, so I attended a special preview screening. The director was there with none other than the Ice Man himself, Robert Van Winkle, as well as their friends, family and some people who had attended out of curiosity (it's not hard to get into the "special" preview - they were handing out free tickets!).Well after the credits rolled I thought to myself, "Can it get any better than this?!" I mean, Vanilla rapping "Ice Ice Baby" for two hours straight might sound boring to some, but here he proves he has so much more range, like when he starts singing a heavy metal track called "You Can Do It Theo!" which is played whilst he battles with the Agent Marshal Mathers (bad guy of the film), which may be a reference to Eminem.Anyway, the director is able to establish a meaningful connection with the audience. Such depth is given to the character of Theo that I felt I literally knew him by the time it all ended. On top of that, V-Ice gives an Oscar-worthy comeback performance that will prove to the disbelievers that "Cool As Ice" was only a sign of things to come in the definitive career of the definitive actor's actor of the 21st century.All in all, this funny, touching, dramatic, action-packed indie experiment had me gushing at the eyes - both because it was funny, and sad. The ending made sense on so many different levels, and the re-mix of Ninja Rap is worth the price of admission alone.P.S. Someone contacted me recently under the impression that this was a serious review on my behalf. If you feel I am being honest when I call it the best movie ever made, please check yourself into the nearest mental ward of your local sanitarium.