TeenzTen An action-packed slog

PiraBit if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

Ariella Broughton It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

Anoushka Slater While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

David Roggenkamp There comes a movie with such a grandiose title that it simply 'must' be watched. This one has escaped my grasp at least twice, one due to time constraints and another due to a machine error. That's okay though, I finally got my hands on it and I wasn't disappointed.The movie (at least DVD) starts out with an advertisement for an online movie portal; it's unusually longer than expected and the DVD does away with trailers entirely. The opening advertisement uses one of the models from within the movie to help advertise it – if it wasn't for the model, the advertisement might be skipped; they acknowledge this and further helps with the B-theme of the movie. Oh, B-theme you say? Yes, this move is ripe with b-grade themed horror movie elements. It takes place in a mansion and plays on a theme of super models competing for lead role; all for reality television. There are at least two scenes with nudity, and at least one sex scene gone awry. Nothing really nasty takes place in these scenes and the nudity is nothing to write home about; its probably there simply to help assist the horror movie theme.The movie plays out quite well like this, but this is just the backdrop for the main story. Some evil characters are being called to the real world for a purpose. This purpose is simply to gather something called 'the magic'; evidently someone is misusing it and they intend to put a stop to it. Some characters die and the evil creatures have a point to be made on occasion. There is a Leprechaun and he has some proverbial tropes to make. He otherwise serves as being useless most of the time. There is a plot (apparently), but the movie seems to be more involved with the acting, special effects, backdrop, and otherwise play on B-grade horror. You are simply not going to find a good movie in the sense of good movies here; this movie is deliberately made to fit this theme and you are watching it for that reason. The movie is cheesy, ridiculous, and bad in a good way. I highly recommend the movie to those that like the whole 'B-Theme' of horror movie fame; you will not be disappointed.Originally posted to Orion Age (http://www.orionphysics.com/? p=8068).

Woodyanders A quintet of beautiful women fiercely compete with each other to become the top spokes model for a high end line of lingerie designed by formidable diva DeeDee DeVille (strongly played with deliciously wicked relish by Jeryl Prescott). Unbeknownst to the ladies, DeeDee has invoked four mythical beings from an ancient charm bracelet so she steal the gals' souls and remain young forever. Director Charles Band relates the entertaining story at a zippy pace and maintains a generally serious tone throughout. The compact and engrossing script by August White and Kent Roudebush offers a neat twist by making the monsters the reluctant pawns of an evil human instead of all-out nasty beasts. Moreover, the creatures are a cool and colorful bunch, with Peter Badalamenti as lecherous cyclops Bloody Bones and especially Nathan Phillips as bitter and disgusted leprechaun Farr Darrig rating as the definite stand-outs. The bevy of sexy babes certainly doesn't hurt matters any: Tiffany Thornton as sweet goody goody two shoes Audrey, Nikki Leigh as the insecure and self-conscious Sheila, Masuimi Max as the determined Mika, Alex Rose Wiesel as ruthless arrogant bitch Darla, and Ana Sophia Berglund as ditsy slut Erin. In addition, there are amusing performances from Seth Peterson as the effeminate Pirl and Charlie O'Connell as slimy producer Baxter Randolph. Howard Wexler's crisp cinematography and Richard Band's shivery Celtic-flavored score are both up to par. A fun little fright flick.

penman08 This review may reveal plot points, so spoiler alert. This is a stinky pile of trash. Bear in mind I have loved Full Moon since the VHS days and I appreciate what they often succeed at doing with their unusual movies, but this one stunk it up! Let's do some of this in question format. Who was that red guy and what was wrong with his face? Who were the others, exactly? Why did they indiscriminately "greenbeam" people with varying results? Why did they "greenbeam" those 2 and kill them? If you are killing bad people, why did that #1 bitch not get it first or at all? I wanted her to die and she did not! How did that black lady have control of everything and why didn't she have more control than she did? Why did the creatures oppose her, exactly, and why did they seem so weak also? There was no real plot, no explanation of their "plot", no conclusions or anything. Bad effects and senseless deaths where the victims just vanished forever. It would have been cool if that one "bitch" was turned fat and then stayed fat and maybe the others could have been similarly punished for their wickedness and then maybe have the chubby or the mean one win out for their sincerity or purity of heart or whatever. The best part was that it just ended, oh and some of the acting was just awful. Terrible movie, even for Full Moon. Please get some help with the script writing, I think Charles is overworked with that AND the music and all.

metalrage666 Ridiculous so-called horror movie, based on old magic and legendary monsters mixed with America's Next Top Model.Just like the aforementioned model TV show, 5 girls are left to have a chance to, well, be the next model with a contract and photo shoots etc. And just like the TV show, there are 3 judges, one who considers himself a young playboy, the obligatory gay guy who somehow knows how women should walk, dress, etc. and the female judge that's scarily reminiscent of Tyra Banks.However unlike the actual TV show, there are 4 monsters, I guess you could call them monsters, - a leprechaun, banshee, hobgoblin and a cyclops. Not sure why these 4 monsters were chosen as they aren't from the same parts of the world or even the similar time-lines, but whatever. Anyway, these 4 monsters have been conjured by this magical charm bracelet and each charm represents one of the monsters. It seems that the premise of this is that one of the characters is using this charm bracelet to have the monsters kill off the young would-be models in order to steal their youthfulness, thereby staying young just a little bit longer. It sounds completely dumb and that's exactly what it is.Don't be fooled by what you read, this is not compelling, deep or interesting, it's just a waste of time. The monsters look like four kids dressed up in bad Halloween costumes. The leprechaun, known as Farr Darrig is supposed to be the leader of the group but there's nothing about him that's remotely menacing. I burst out laughing at how stupid he looked. The role of the cyclops makes no sense as he seems to be nothing more than a horny teenager just wanting to get some, and making himself look like one of the judges, manages to succeed.I gave this 2 stars for no other reason than Masuimi Max getting hypnotised by the cyclops and taking her top off and playing with herself solely for his amusement. Apart from that, this is as lame as lame gets. Even the bitching between the models came across as forced and it would have been better had they just let them ad-lib. This one just isn't worth your time.