Townies
Townies
| 08 November 1999 (USA)
Townies Trailers

Welcome to Schlarb, Ohio... a small county seat overrun by misfits, freaks and weirdos! Dickie is a lonely dumpster-driver who finds companionship in his latest dumpster discovery, a young woman's corpse! Pricey is a mute retarded girl with a lookalike baby-doll. When she loses her doll after an unsavory encounter with a mean cracker, she replaces it with the next best thing, her neighbor's young son! Meanwhile, the enigmatic Caduceus sets out to cleanse a nasty high school girl of her wicked ways! You'll also meet The Clapper, William, The Licker, Crazy Connie and other wild and wacky Townies in this Magnum Opus of CineTrash from cult filmmaker Wayne Alan Harold.

Reviews
Supelice Dreadfully Boring
CommentsXp Best movie ever!
pointyfilippa The movie runs out of plot and jokes well before the end of a two-hour running time, long for a light comedy.
Roxie The thing I enjoyed most about the film is the fact that it doesn't shy away from being a super-sized-cliche;
Tromafreak As someone who's already seen all the vintage John Waters, all the Troma's, all the LBP epics, and all the Italian Cannibal epics. Townies, to me, ain't nothing special. Then again, if you've seen (and approve of) all of the above, then I guess you might as well give this one a chance as well.Schlarb, Ohio may or may not have ever been a nice place to live. As for these days, the freaks have taken over. Not so much taking over, as they're not going around killing everybody or anything like that, but there's just so damn many of them. Seriously, they're everywhere, giving weird looks and whatnot.Dickie the dumpster-driver hasn't had a lady-friend in quite a while. Actually, the poor little fellow has never had such a thing. If you've seen him in Killer Nerd, or not, you won't find this hard to believe. All of this is about to change. For today is Dickie's lucky day. Dickie has found a corpse in the dump. And yes, in case you were wondering, it is a lady corpse. Goodbye loneliness!! Dickie has finally got himself a girlfriend.Pricey is only semi-retarded, you understand. Actually, she's even semi-hot. Unfortunately, poor Pricey is completely mute. It's alright, because Pricey has her baby (a doll) to keep her company, along with a family who she usually spends her time waiting for, outside their house, for them to either wake up or come home... yeah, kinda like a dog. After Pricey's doll/daughter is stolen, she panics and quickly finds the next best thing.Caduceus the big bald mute doesn't have many fans. The ladies are especially repulsed by this creepy reject. Avoiding Caduceus would be the sensible thing for any woman who finds this guy questionable. Yet, here in good ol' Schlarb, we got women trying to Caduceus over with cars, and convincing their boyfriends to make his life even worse. He may not seem all there, but Caduceus knows a thing or 2 about revenge.And did I mention that all of this was accomplished with a three hundred dollar budget? I don't know about you but Townies is by far the most low-budget movie in my collection. And might I add that the black and white was a very nice touch, which would be the only thing that's nice about this mean-spirited trash-fest.I don't know why Townies has been compared to Todd Browning's Freaks as much as it has. It's mostly about the trials & tribulations of a bunch of brain-damaged misfits, which, to me, is much more entertaining than a bunch of midgets and amputees, but that's just me.For more in worthwhile modern trash, I Spit Chew On Your Grave is a must-see. If freaks is what you're in to, Frank Henenlotters newest masterpiece, Bad Biology will definitely do it for you. But if some nice pitch-black humor is what you're after, then you won't go wrong with Townies. 7/10
dbborroughs The strange people living in a town go about their lives. There's the licker a guy who licks everything, a dumpster diver that finds a body which he takes home to live with him, a crazy girl with a doll dressed like her, a guy who wants to cleanse girls of their wicked ways...offbeat in the extreme, this shot in black and white movie is better with out the color. The monochrome takes the edge off the two steps up from home movie feel. Like a Troma movie, this movie is fun in fits and starts but mostly its weird for weirds sake and soon becomes a crashing bore since one you see the set ups you can kind of guess where its going a lot of the time-not always- but enough for it not to be fun.(Though I didn't see the cleansing coming). Worth a shot if you've nothing else to watch and you're waiting for the next set of Golden Girls to come from Netflix.
Arid Sloane I can't believe I wasted my time with this movie. I couldn't even call it a movie. It was so bad with nothing to recommend it. I like low budget movies and weird flicks but this one had me bored to death. Badly made and bad acting ruined it from being curious. You have to wonder what these people were thinking when they spent money to produce this movie. I wonder what I was thinking watching it to the end. I recommend this movie to no one. How did they release this? Was there an audience who likes this kind of movie? There must be because you can find this at almost any video store. But why?Deserves to be forgotten.If you like bad movies then this is for you.
mermatt The film opens with a warning from star Toby Radloff like the one in James Whale's FRANKENSTEIN and even includes an intermission with a "courtesy flush."This film is a journey into a real zone of twilight, a surreal exploration of the mind and strangeness. Radloff, star of KILLER NERD and BRIDE OF KILLER NERD, plays one of his strangest characters yet -- Dickie, the necrophiliac explorer of trash.Just remember, if you dare to watch, that, as we are told at the end, "the squirrels were really dead." Warning: the film ends with an unsolved mystery which means that there could be a sequel. In other words, the saga of Schlarb, Ohio, has just begun.