Okay, listen up! Threat Level Midnight is the most epic action movie ever made. It’s a masterpiece of cinema, and, yes, it’s my movie. I, Michael Scott, play the main character, Secret Agent Michael Scarn. He’s a super spy, obviously, but also an incredible lover and hero. The plot is simple but genius: there’s this evil villain, Goldenface, and he wants to destroy the world with a deadly weapon. But Michael Scarn is there to stop him – and, spoiler alert, he does. It’s got everything: explosions, car chases, romance, and… hockey. Not to mention, I’m the director, producer, and star, which is why it’s so good. So if you’re not watching it, you’re basically not living. Also, the budget was really low, but you can’t even tell. The special effects are, well, spectacular. Watch it, or don’t, but that’s your loss. Enjoy, or else.