Chatverock
Takes itself way too seriously
Ghoulumbe
Better than most people think
Merolliv
I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.
Ella-May O'Brien
Each character in this movie — down to the smallest one — is an individual rather than a type, prone to spontaneous changes of mood and sometimes amusing outbursts of pettiness or ill humor.
Erik Nelson
Imagine if Jim Jarmush and Federico Fellini decided to re-interpret David Lynch's 'Inland Empire' and you might have a description of Takeshis.This is not to say that one film borrows from another (even though they were made around the same time) but there are some resemblances. For example, here a 'mix table' driven dance party takes the place of Empire's black rabbit comedy show, and seems to form some kind of a center connecting all of the time lines / dream sequences together.It's not for everyone, and like Empire it does take a lot out of you, but it's wholly original and definitely one of his best.
Argemaluco
Since I saw Fireworks,I am following director Takeshi Kitano's movies.I have liked a lot all his movies but,by my point of view,he gets better results when he tells clear stories,like in Brother,Zatoichi or Fireworks than when he tells surreal stories,like in Dolls or,now,Takeshis.I liked Takeshis but,by my point of view,is his less obtained film.First of all,let's go to the fails.The surrealism does not bother me on movies but,there is a moment in Takeshis that the story was so surrealistic that I felt the film was going nowhere.Also,it gets a little bit boring on some parts.Still with that,Takeshis has good elements.Kitano backs to do a very precise direction.The story is ingenious and,except for some parts,the film kept me fun.In summary,I liked Takeshis but I think Kitano exceeded a little bit on the surrealism and I think it's his less obtained film.But,I appreciated that this film goes beyond the common and that's enough reason to recommend it with the warning that this is not for everyone.
Meganeguard
As almost every fan of Kitano Takeshi knows when the noted actor/director/writer stars in a film he uses his stage name Beat Takeshi from his days of manzai performance with his partner Beat Kiyoshi, hence The Two Beats, and when he directs he goes by his full name Kitano Takeshi. In his book Beat Takeshi vs. Takeshi Kitano Casio Abe states that Beat Takeshi and Kitano Takeshi are two distinct personalities of the same being. Beat Takeshi is the persona Kitano uses for vacuous television entertainment for a mass audience while Kitano Takeshi is a creator obsessed with death, especially his own, as can be seen in his films in which his character commits suicide. While Dolls is often considered his most ostentatious and self-indulgent films, Takeshis' might soon take its take in the minds of critics because obviously, as the title suggests, the film entirely focuses on the miasma created by the bifurcated personality of Kitano.The film opens with Beat Takeshi losing a mahjong match to a yakuza boss who asks Beat Takeshi to put his son in one of his films. As he exits the building, a woman, Kishimoto Kayako who played Beat Takeshi's wife in Kikujiro and Hanabi, who works for the yakuza tosses a glass of water on him demanding that he pay back the money he owes her. Bemused by this situation, Beat Takeshi and his girlfriend, Kyono Kotomi, and manager, Osugi Ren, make their way to a television studio where Beat is working on another yakuza film set in Okinawa. (Sonatine anyone?) He bemoans the life of being an actor: the same thing day after day and receiving flowers at the end of a shoot. However, this day he meets a man in clown makeup who bears a striking resemblance to himself. A struggling actor named Kitano with beach bottle blond hair. Of course Kitano is a big fan of Beat's work and asks Beat for an autograph. It is at this point that the film starts to become a bit odd.As Kitano, not Beat Takeshi, makes his way home, a girl, who adores Beat Takeshi, gives him a gift thinking that he is Beat. Kitano then encounters Beat's girlfriend who is instead now his loose neighbor instead of a sharply dressed woman and a yakuza, Terajima Susumu, who had played his fellow clown in the studio. The bizarreness continues with the yakuza boss and his son being the patrons of a noodle shop and Osugi Ren being a cab driver. I'm not even touching on some scenes which include "The Hard Laborer's Song" performed by the female Miwa Akihiro who appeared in the Mishima Yukio Fukasaku Kinji film Black Lizard in 1965.It seems that with this film Kitano is trying to split his personality once again. While already the distinct personalities of Beat Takeshi and Kitano Takeshi, it seems that he is trying to split off from his stereotype as a director of yakuza films. Sonatine and Hanabi are both victims of Kitano's sardonic wit and while there are some scenes more outlandish than those that appear in Getting Any?, they have more of a frightening effect than a humorous one. While I found this film to be entertaining overall, the bizarreness of it was almost too much at some points. However, one could also take this as a sign that this films requires repeated viewings. Definitely one for Kitano fans, but for those who have yet to view a Kitano film, this is probably the worst place to start.
Spuzzlightyear
Having seen a lot of Kitano Takeshi's work, one has to realize that this guy is totally hit and miss. Sonatine? Hit. Brother? Miss. Zaitochi? Hit. ? Miss. And then we have Takeshis, which I'm proud to say is probably the worst movie I've seen in a number of years. This film, about 2 Beat Takeshis! One the famous one, and one a failed actor. Both lead their respective lives, with one basking in the glow of his fame, and the other struggling to get by, But when the failed actor gets a hold of some weapons, he decides to become Takeshi the gangster, just like the movies! All this sounds incredibly neat, doesn't it? But the film is presented in such a jumbled mess and scenes and characters that don't make any sense until the last scenes of the film, and it's a total cheat. Make that a DOUBLE cheat, because there's two false endings in the film, both will make you groan, because they're the cheapest way to explain everything that happened. Kitano should be embarrassed with himself.