2hotFeature
one of my absolute favorites!
PlatinumRead
Just so...so bad
ChicDragon
It's a mild crowd pleaser for people who are exhausted by blockbusters.
Doomtomylo
a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.
wes-connors
New Jersey shore's "Seaside Heights" residents get ready to celebrate the Fourth of July holiday. Meanwhile, cartoon-like sharks begin killing people. The animated creatures are called albino sharks and have an old score to settle. During the deadly heat-wave of 1916, the boardwalk construction attracted sharks with vibrations. After hefty former "N-Sync" singer Joey Fatone is attacked, everyone thinks the danger is over. But the sharks have an insatiable appetite. Body-builder Jeremy Luke (as TC, meaning "The Complication") and bronzed girlfriend Melissa Molinaro (as Nooki) are the stars. There is some humor attempted throughout this TV movie revision of the shark classic "Jaws" (1975). For a couple of reasons, the best part of this movie is the ending.** Jersey Shore Shark Attack (6/9/12) John Shepphird ~ Jeremy Luke, Melissa Molinaro, Daniel Booko, Joey Russo
saveferris78
Wow! All I can say is "ouch". The joke is clearly ON Jersey Shore.For those who are unaware, there is a show that has been on TV for several seasons now, called "Jersey Shore". It is 'reality' - if you can really call it that. It's focus is on several people from the New Jersey area (primarily Italian Americans) and as most exploitation type shows go, it stereotypes these people.That said. Watching this movie without understanding that it is spoofing the TV show could result in you going outside and looking at the setting sun and asking questions like, "Was that really Paul Sorvino? Was he blackmailed into doing this? Does Joey Fatone really have a fan club? Is my food choice for tonight safe after seeing this?"On the other hand, if you get that it is a spoof - you might really enjoy it. It's gonna be a little painful either way, but let me assure you...there are a few funny moments...but mostly moments leaving you asking how production money was put together.
gavin6942
Many years ago, hundreds of locals and tourists were massacred by giant man-eating sharks in the infamous 1916 Jersey Shore attacks. But that was just a legend... or is it? I love how the cover quote says this film is better than "The Avengers". Either that guy was paid a lot of money, was on some really good prescription medication, or was willing to sell his soul and lie just to get his name on the cover of a DVD.I also love how the producer and second unit director is Fred Olen Ray, pretty much the modern master of the B movie. This film does not have Ray's style to it, though, so I am a bit curious which parts were second unit.Sadly, I must confess that overall this was not a terrible movie. While more comedy than horror, they really pulled all the stops in capturing the "Jersey Shore" feel with muscles, guidos, and fake tans. The actors chosen were excellent for their respective parts, and even a few bigger names -- Paul Sorvino, Joey Fatone -- made appearances. I am a bit impressed.Great film? No. But actually somewhat better than much of what the SyFy network produces.
Woodyanders
A ravenous horde of vicious albino bull sharks spoil everyone's fun during a Fourth of July celebration down by the shore in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. Fortunately, the local pumped-up Italian muscleheads and their slutty girlfriends decide to fight back. Director John Shepphird, working from a blithely silly script by Michael Ciminera and Richard Gnolfo, relates the uproariously inane story at a brisk pace and wisely doesn't treat this infectious foolishness seriously for a minute. Instead, Shepphird goes overboard with the goofy humor and broad Guido Italian stereotypes with always enjoyable and often sidesplitting results. The attractive and appealing cast attack the dippy material with lip-smacking zest, with especially engaging and energetic work from the delectable Melissa Molinaro as the shrill, snippy, stuck-up Nooki, Jeremy Luke as amiable macho hunk The Complication, Vinny Guadagnino as spastic TV reporter Joe Conte, Daniel Booko as obnoxious wannabe Balzac, and Joey Russo as the dopey Donnie. Several seasoned veterans in colorful supporting parts keep this picture humming: Jack Scalia as hard-nosed police chief Moretti, Tony Sirico as jovial old-timer Captain Salie, William Atherton as smarmy rich jerk Dolan, and Paul Sorvino as the corrupt and greedy Mayor Palantine. The cheesy CGI effects, ridiculous shark attack set pieces (singer Joey Fatone gets eaten just as he's about to sing live in concert!), and the tacky over-the-top gore all add immensely to the considerable hilarity. An absolute hoot.
