ThiefHott Too much of everything

Raetsonwe Redundant and unnecessary.

Mathilde the Guild Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

Josephina Great story, amazing characters, superb action, enthralling cinematography. Yes, this is something I am glad I spent money on.

Horst in Translation (filmreviews@web.de) Here we have a German black-and-white film from over 50 years ago, which managed quite an achievement. It is bad enough to make in to the list of the 100 worst films in film history on the biggest movie website of the world. Yes it is German, even if there are copies with English language out there and even if the director and some of the cast used American pseudonyms. The director is Fritz Böttger and it was his 3rd and final film behind the camera. He wrote many more though.The cast is predominantly female. A group of dancers has a plane crash, but (what a miracle!) they all survive and are just hungry and thirsty. So they reach an island, but sadly they are not alone. One of the very few males in this film is bitten by some kind of spider monster and transforms into a spider human himself afterward. But not the Spider Man hero kind. A furry, scary looking creature which is out there to kill.This 75-minute film could have been fun actually, if the spider monster would have killed the girls one by one, but the actual outcome is not so bad that it's funny, it's so bad that it's real bad. The girls keep (cat)fighting for no reason really and the males fight too, but then all of a sudden in a scene near the end it was just harmless fun. But the worst thing in this film is probably all the sexual bait. Literally, every third scene we see one or more women making suggestive gestures obviously aimed at getting male audience members horny and thus tricking them into believing this was not a complete rubbish film. From the female cast, one actress died shortly afterward when she fell out of her apartment's window, while another (Barbara Valentin) actually had a great career working a lot with Fassbinder. The other actresses aren't particularly known and did not appear in too many films and those that they appeared in were all fairly forgettable.I do not care about what MST3000 did with this movie as they are idiots and don't know a thing about quality movies, only possessing the (lack of) ability to put down films. However, I have to say that this film here is not a good watch at all. Pretty much exactly the opposite. The writing is bad. The acting is even worse. Stay far far away.

SanteeFats The only reason to watch this horrible horror film is the bikini clad female dance troupe, MAYBE. The plot is actually not that bad but the execution (maybe the writer should have been?) is very poor. A plane crashes near an unknown island yet it has white people on it!! Now if you grew up in the 50's and 60's like I did the girls are pretty nice in their bikinis. If you are younger you probably won't appreciate them as today's females seem to be a lot less in some respects. As is to be expected in such an old film the special effects aren't special at all. There is some romance but the troupe's manager is just a womanizing roue. He does get his by the end of the movie.

Bezenby The master copy of Horrors Of Spider Island was no doubt found on top of a wardrobe in some German teenagers room in the sixties. This film involves eight women (who have a lengthy audition scene at the beginning (like The X Factor, only good) and their manager crashing in a plane just off a desert island. The footage of the plane crash looks to me like it was taken from World War 2 footage, but don't worry - everyone's alright.Once on the island they find a shack with a dead guy stuck to a web. After some mild fright, they get to doing what woman do when there's more than two of them in a room: that is, bitching and fighting with each other. Gary, the guy, gets the moves put on him by Babs which doesn't please his missus, so he ends up going for a walk and getting bit by a spider. After killing one of the group, he disappears for the next twenty minutes of the film. My theory is he snaffled some of the girl's underwear and a box of Kleenex and went off to chug his knackers flat.Meanwhile, (or rather, 'a month later'), two guys who help the professor turn up at the island and start pinching themselves as they meet the girls. Much of the middle of the film is taken up by this, but don't expect to be bored as the girls find the time to have a jazz infused bikini party! Luckily before they are rescued Gary turns up and starts wasting the cast. Who will survive? I don't (I can't remember their names).Horror of Spider Island is a bad movie, but it's an entertaining one due to general daftness (Gary's make up, the spider, the punch up between the two guys) and the near constant scantily clad woman, from an era where women looked like women and not like Ziggy-Stardust era with silicone implants. It gets points for that.My favourite bit was the weird slurping noise the guy made when he found that waterfall.

Anders Twetman With a title like "Horrors of Spider Island" (I'm going by the one on the poster here) you would expect a story about a bunch of people who end up on an island full of monster spiders that kill them off horribly, but no. This is a story about a bunch of dancers who end up on an island and...well, they mostly just hang out. There is some minor bickering, they go swimming in the sea and throw a party when two men turn up, thats more or less it. Oh, there is also a sub plot about a spider that turns their manager into some kind of sad looking man-spider-thing that does pretty much nothing. Other than the miserable excuse for a plot, the pacing is really weird; character introduction is handled by a series of very haphazard work interviews with the girls that is so rushed that we learn almost nothing and after that the film slows right down. Everything moves slowly and when something finally does happen the action is really lame. Seriously, I've had more exciting days in front of the computer at the office.