Ankle Biters
Ankle Biters
R | 04 February 2003 (USA)
Ankle Biters Trailers

A small town is overrun by ankle-biting-blood-sucking DWARF Vampires. Things get complicated when the vertically-challenged coffin-creepers get their itty-bitty hands on a sword with the blood of the last slain Tall Vampire. With this relic, they can create a super-race of SHAQ-sized Draculas out of any tall human. Now, the half Vampire / half Human, Drexel, is the town's - and the world's - only hope to stop the countryside invasion of the mini-Demons. There are no SHORT fixes to this TALL problem.

Reviews
NekoHomey Purely Joyful Movie!
Brainsbell The story-telling is good with flashbacks.The film is both funny and heartbreaking. You smile in a scene and get a soulcrushing revelation in the next.
Usamah Harvey The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.
Lela The tone of this movie is interesting -- the stakes are both dramatic and high, but it's balanced with a lot of fun, tongue and cheek dialogue.
trashgang I really couldn't believe what I just saw. They say that Beasties, Things and Winterbeast are the worst movies to see but hey, they contain nudity and blood. This flick only contains a parade of tuned cars and at the end, special bikes, but eh, was this movie not about vampires. Oh yeah, a special kind of vampires, dwarfs. The only thing that surprised me was the fact that they found that amount of dwarfs. And what about the vampires, well, being a shorty they aren't able to bite you in the neck so they bite your ankle. But when they bite almost no blood flows and no gore is shown. It reminded me a bit of Blade, the storyline but this is the worst kind of movie you will ever see. It's a must see just to believe it, southern rednecks as vampires, man, how many times I touched that fast forward button.
mlw-worthington Well, what can I say! I'd seen a trailer of this film on another low budget release that my Brother owned, and once I'd seen a Midget Vampire shot at point blank range with a twelve bore, I then knew my true purpose in life. I HAD to own a copy of this film.And so my quest began.........Finally after endless minutes of searching Amazon came up with the goods. At five pounds Sterling, a copy was duly obtained.After what seemed like an endless wait my copy landed on the door mat. I ripped open the packaging, put the disc in the player, cracked open a tin, and sat back to enjoy.For eighty painful minutes I sat aghast at the horror that unfurled before me. Everything about this film is awful, but it's so awful it's hilarious! It reduced me to a tearful mess by the end. This film is crammed full of bad camera work, awful acting and terrible sound, but don't let this put you off. There's plenty of gems in there including some fantastic quotes........"I'm off to the Waffle Shack, to get me a burger" quips the Motorbike Mechanic "Man those burgers taste like pi*s" replies his boss "Yep, that's because Jimmy pi**es in em!" An absolute gem!The films main players are Drexell Vennis, who's a poor copy of Blade! His midget sidekick T Bone, who struggles to deliver the most basic dialogue! John Marcus, Vampire Slayer and Turps Nudger, who shakes like a constipated Jack Russell, and a whole host of vertically challenged half wits and Redneck Bikers.My only gripe is the quote by John Marcus, when he says he's received a tip off about some Vampires down south. He claims that there's "About thirty of em in a nest" Well I only saw six in total, and one of them wasn't a Vampire till about halfway through the film. So I can't help but feel I've been cheated out of twenty four Redneck Dwarf Vampires.The best fiver I've ever spent!
polysicsarebest This film is pretty much just a $10 ripoff of the Blade films but with ghetto biker zombie vampire redneck MIDGETS. Basically, there's a sword that exists that can transform a tall human who is stabbed with it into a vampire, as it is the same sword that killed the last tall vampire. Or something. The ghetto biker zombie vampire redneck midgets get ahold of the sword by making a deal with some mobsters and then it's up to Drexel and his midget pal, T-Bone, to kill the evil midgets or something. Meanwhile, the evil midgets stab a redneck mechanic, and he becomes a vampire slave. So, the rest of the film is some fights between midgets and some walking around and some talking and some horrible redneck acting. And a slow-motion backflip scene.I can honestly say that there's NOTHING to like about this film. It's a rare film that isn't so bad it's good... it's just plain BAD. It's just a boring waste of time, with the ONLY POSSIBLE SAVING GRACE being that you want to watch to see how amateurish and terrible things can get. Drexel is one of the worst human beings in history.Awful.
cocoacabanna This movie only cost $500 to make. For someone to get a small movie like that distributed world wide seems like a pretty big accomplishment. I think he is smart for coming up with a pretty catchy title and exploiting midgets, therefore not only getting a rather extremely poor made film released, but getting ALL of us to rent it.
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